Old School Recap

Hey all.

I’m aware I’ve not posted much recently so I wanted to make it up to you by kicking it OLD SCHOOL. That’s right, a full blown recap.

So the show opened with Stephanie McMahon, the love of my life in the dark timeline where I’m straight, talking about Daniel Bryan. For those who don’t remember, Steph decided that Daniel  needed a “corporate makeover” in order to make Vince happy.

It was time for the big unveiling complete with length video package. What were we to see? A whole new Daniel with shaved beard and new haircut? I mean, this is Raw, they’re not going to do some crappy segment right? Right?

Turns out the big makeover was Daniel having hairgel put in his hair and him wearing a suit. Then it went from bad to worse. Stephanie left the ring after congratulating Corporate Daniel Bryan. Vince then made his way down and said that, if Daniel wants his approval, he has to shave his beard. Wade Barrett came down with a barber’s chair and some clippers and it ended up in a strange brawl. Daniel then took to the mic to talk about he was a wrestler and not some corporate stooge.

Then we had RVD v Alberto Del Rio. We were then re-introduced to Ricardo Rodriguez who was touted as returning from “severe injury”. The severe injury was to his judgement, as Ricardo was actually back from a Wellness Violation ban. The match had its usual shenanigans as Ricardo set up the bucket in the corner for ADR to throw RVD into. However, it didn’t go to plan as Ricardo ended up hitting the metal and RVD picked up the win.

Infuriated at this, ADR then beat down Ricardo and even crushed his head between steel steps. It was pretty brutal.

Cody Rhodes came to the ring after a break with an interesting package (naughty). We were then shown the footage from Smackdown (which has been great recently) of Cody stealing the briefcase and then throwing into the ocean then the subsequent brawls. I’m loving Cody v Damien so it was fun to see it in a nice little video.

Cody then revealed that in the box was the Money In The Bank briefcase which had been fished from the ocean. It was not in good health and Damien Sandow made his way to the ring to get it. Cody acted as if though he didn’t want a fight but pulled a fast one and ended up being beat down by Cody.

Our next match was Ryback v Mark Henry. Henry has sadly lost his big momentum from the fake retirement speech and this match was short lived as Ryback left the ring for a 10 count.

Backstage, Total Divas The Bella Twins were joined by Eva Marie to discuss how they hated Natalya. Natalya then showed up to slap one of The Bellas and Eva Marie tried to pretend that she could act. If you haven’t watched Total Divas yet then do. It’s hilarious. Also, I totally think they should give Seamstress Sandra from Episode 2 her own show. Obsessed.

Cena then came out to reply to Daniel Bryan. Bryan basically accused Cena of just being an entertainer whilst he is a wrestler. Cena didn’t like that very much and explained how he had loads of titles. Cena even acknowledged the “you can’t wrestle” chants which, let’s be honest, is one of the douchiest chants in WWE. The guy has put his body through years of pain and put on some great matches yet the crowd continue to chant “you can’t wrestle” just because Cena didn’t earn his spot via the indies. Cena pretty much addressed that point saying that working in Japan doesn’t mean you’re the greatest and that it takes much more to make it in the WWE.

Then, for some reason, Randy Orton showed up. Orton couldn’t have walked any slower to the ring as Michael Cole screamed that he might be cashing in. There was no cash-in and instead Orton reminded Cena that Daniel Bryan wasn’t the only person he should worry about. With that, The Shield then made their way to the ring to beat down slash fiction’s favourite couple and Daniel Bryan joined the mix to even things up. Brad Maddox as his beefy ass then came out to announce a 6-man tag match.

Tons of Funk v The Wyatt Family was the next match and The Wyatt Family destroyed the crowd favourite. Afterwards, they were beaten up and Bray Wyatt did his usual speech but, admittedly, he was mumbling slightly so at one point I’m pretty sure he announced he was gay.

Then Kane appeared to announce he was still the Devil’s favourite demon and that Bray had better fear him.

CM Punk and Josh Matthews had an awkward interview. CM Punk is mad, y’all.

Layla then made her way to the ring and revealed she turned on Kaitlyn because she was sick of her getting all the attention. I much prefer evil Layla to nice Layla so it’s good to have her back. And Layla aligning with AJ is also awesome. It’d be great to get LayCool back though.

Anyways, Layla v Kaitlyn got underway and Layla did every dirty trick in the book which even included hanging from the top rope like a sloth. Eventually, AJ would cause a distraction to allow Layla to pick up the win.

Christian also won a match vs Heath Slater.

CM Punk v Curtis Axel followed that and Curtis Axel was basically used as a hype man for Brock Lesnar. After winning the match, Punk went after Paul Heyman and Brock came out. I hate to admit it, but I’m loving Punk and Lesnar together. It’s a great story. The two had a brutal fight on the outside and it began to look like Punk was going to get hold of Heyman but, alas, it wasn’t to be as Punk was hit with the F5 by Lesnar.

Afterwards, Heyman challenged Punk to a match.

Kofi Kingston came out in long tights and defeated Fandango. Way to cover up the only thing that made you interesting, Kofi.

Backstage an upset Stephanie spoke to Triple H saying that Vince went crazy at her because the makeover segment was a disaster. Triple H was incensed and accused Vince of being crazy. It’s Game Of Thrones you guys. Vince is Mad King Aaerys Targaryen and Triple H is Robert Baratheon ready to slay him. Triple H said Vince was out to ruin Summerslam and that he’s causing the ship to sink. I definitely think we’re going to see a new McMahon/Helmsley era with Stephanie and Triple H officially taking over control of the WWE. And you know what? I freaking love it.

The Real Americans also had a match against The Usos. Zeb did his usual speech but went for the cheap pop about the local football team. Seriously, if you’re not from that town, it’s hard to care. There’s plenty to talk about, Zeb. Go crazy!

The Real Americans picked up the win.

Dolph Ziggler v Big E Langston was the next match and these two had a score to settle. It appeared as if Dolph was getting the upperhand until Kaitlyn came to the ring. She ran at AJ who, for some reason, decided to mount her and the brawl eventually entered the ring.

This allowed distraction enough for Big E to beat down Dolph and pick up the win.

The Main Event was the 6 man tag and boy was it a doozy. The Shield were using their numbers game and ended up getting disqualified. Then, Randy Orton hit his RKO on both Cena and Daniel Bryan. It looked as if he was going to cash in but it never happened because The Shield intervened. However, Randy decided to let The Shield beat down his team mates as he walked away.

Heel Orton is so much fun. Maybe we’ll see a Viper cash in at Summerslam?

Until next time,

XO-TWB

Money In The Wank Bank #2

Hey all.

I’ve been off doing things with my personal life.

I know, HOW COULD I?!

Anyways, here’s a Money In The Bank gallery.

Enjoy.

XO-TWB

I Wouldn’t Bank On My Predictions

So tonight is my favourite PPV of the year; Money In The Bank. Sadly, I’m an adult with work and I live in the UK so I’ve got to wait all day tomorrow before I can find out the results. However, as always, I’m going to predict what I think will happen.

These results only exist in my fantasies and I am never right.

XO-TWB

WWE Tag Team Champions Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns vs. The Usos (Kickoff Match)

I think this one is an easy one to guess. It’d be a cold day in hell when The Usos become WWE Tag Champs over The Shield. The Shield were dominating but now, not so much. However, they’ve had big storylines over the coming months.

I wouldn’t be surprised to experience The Wyatt Family getting involved.

Winners: The Shield (Rollins & Reigns)

Chris Jericho v Ryback

I completely forgot this was happening. I can’t see this being a bad match though. It’s just a match without any great risk. I also have a feeling it’ll be Jericho’s last for a while. He tends to be given bigger matches before he disappears.

My prediction is that Vickie Guerrero will get involved, spurring Ryback to do more and more damage. Jericho will be destroyed and then will disappear with Fozzy for a few months again.

Winner: Ryback

WWE Divas Champion AJ Lee v Kaitlyn

I am so, so, so looking forward to this. There hasn’t been this much of a build up to a Divas match since Layla v Michelle McCool. This is obviously going to be a very raw, emotional and aggressive match. Kaitlyn has everything to fight for and a loss here could see her really lose it.

Which is why I think she’ll lose.

I predict a heel turn for Kaitlyn. I think that Kaitlyn will go crazy and attack Layla who will come to her aide after her loss.

Winner: AJ Lee

Intercontinental Champion Curtis Axel v The Miz

I am quite looking forward to this match. I think The Miz and Axel have a lot to offer. I think it’s a damn shame they haven’t built Axel up enough but, as you’ll read later, I think he’ll play a bigger part later.

I think that The Miz will regain the championship. It means a lot to Axel but The Miz hasn’t really done much recently and I think this match will see WWE try and get him on track again.

Winner: The Miz

Money In The Bank Match (World Heavyweight Championship)

What I like about this, is that it means that someone who hasn’t always had a great push will get one. I think it’s going to create a great opportunity for a title run for a lucky superstar. Who will that superstar be?

There’s a lot of potential storylines here. If Antonio Cessaro won then there would be an obvious jealousy from Jack Swagger. Dean Ambrose is already a title holder and a win here would put The Shield in even greater control. It would also make internet fans go wild. Fandango winning would be a surprise. Wade Barrett has recently been on great form but hasn’t seen a lot of TV action since losing in the triple threat last month. Damien Sandow would also be an interesting choice.

I, however, am going to go with Cody Rhodes. Damien and Cody have been ‘best buddies’ and are constantly being questioned about how one of them winning over the other might affect them. I think it was very strange how quickly Team Rhodes Scholars reunited after breaking up and I believe it may have been for this. I think Cody will somehow cheat Damien out of the briefcase. The two will feud as a placeholder between Money In The Bank and Cody cashing in.

Winner: Cody Rhodes

Money In The Bank All-Stars Match (WWE Title)

Can I just say how patronising it is to call this all-stars? It makes the other match seem like it is for amateurs. However, there’s a lot in play in this match. You’ve got a returning RVD and also there’s only 6 men since The Wyatt Family took out Kane. I do think, however, that they will replace Kane.

In my opinion, I think that Triple H will be put in the match by Vince. Stephanie doesn’t want him to wrestle anymore and Vince will likely goad Triple H into it. The McMahon feud is obviously leading to something big and I think that we’re going to see the beginning of one last big run for Triple H.

I also think that Paul Heyman , Curtis Axel and Brock Lesnar will play a part in this. I think CM Punk will be screwed out of winning. Punk will the feud with Axel whilst eventually having a match against Lesnar at Summerslam.

RVD I think won’t win this. I would be very surprised. Same goes for Randy and Christian.

Sheamus is a big possibility since the WWE has such a big hard-on over him.

Daniel Bryan would be a very interesting choice. He’s spent a long time trying to prove he isn’t the weak link and securing the briefcase would mean he’d cement that. He’d also be a two-time winner of the briefcase.

I am going to be controversial and say that Triple H wins this. Steph won’t be happy and it’ll be something for Vince to use to get him to compete. It’ll generate great anger from the WWE Universe which will certainly get people talking… especially if he cashes in.

Winner: Triple H

World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler

I cannot wait for this match. This has been a fantastic feud and I think this will be a fantastic match. The last match these two had was absolutely brutal and I think the WWE have been smart to give Dolph a few weeks rest from constant in-ring competition.

I am really hoping that Dolph Ziggler is going to get his belt back. I prefer Dolph over Alberto but I have to give Del Rio his due… he’s played his role brilliantly.

In terms of a cash in… well, it’d be interesting. If I’m correct about Cody winning and he cashes in against Dolph then that’d be great.

It’d also be interesting for somebody to cash in against Del Rio if he were to retain.

Dolph goes crazy, beats on Del Rio, MITB winner comes out and takes the title from Del Rio just like Dolph did.

But I’m going with my heart.

Winner: Dolph Ziggler

WWE Champion John Cena vs. Mark Henry

This is another match I can’t wait for and boy it’s going to be good. Mark Henry’s fake retirement speech was fantastic but the retirement rumours still haven’t gone away and Henry did admit this was his last big shot.

So I think that Henry will be victorious and will go on the books as being a WWE Champion. I then think Triple H will cash in on a exhausted Mark Henry.

I imagine we’ll have Cena and Henry have a great fight. Maybe even the best of Henry’s career. Henry will be battered and broken but he’ll be champion. Cena shakes his hand and Henry looks down at his title in disbelief. Then we see backstage, Triple H storming to the ring. Stephanie begging him not to do this, Mark Henry is dangerous and Vince tells him he doesn’t have the balls to be champion. Triple H’s music hits, he runs out, he gets his ass kicked a little but hits the pedigree to become champion.

Then, Vince comes out and says that Triple H will have a title match the next night. A cage match (or something as heavy) against RVD.

Winner: Mark Henry
Actual Winner: Triple H

So, they’re my predictions.

What are yours?

XO-TWB

Introducing Curt-ass Axel

Hello all!

It’s been far too long.

Yes, a month long hiatus. This was NOT planned at all but I’ve recently moved into a new apartment and life just got into that way. I hate when that happens, don’t you?

So, we’ve going to kick back off with my Raw Gallery.

Introducing new superstar Curtis Axel (aka Michael McGillicutty). Now, there’s no secret that I love Axel’s ass. And he even knows he’s well proportioned in that area…

So expect to see more of him.

Meanwhile,

Enjoy!

XO-TWB

Code Blue (Balls)

Hey all!

It’s that time again. It’s Raw Recap Sunday.

First up, a sexy gallery featuring 69 (*giggles*) hot pics.

Enjoy.

XO-TWB

Raw In Jokes

Hey, it’s Wrestlemania week. We had one last week, we’ll have one this week.

It’s Raw In Jokes.

XO-TWB

–          John Cena opened Raw saying that he will beat The Rock. An achievable goal as long as he’s not talking about DVD sales

–          Seth Rollins referred to the crowd as “Fool Hardy”. WWE were just pleased to have a Hardy on TV without having to pay for their rehab

–          Jack Swagger debuted a new shirt. It’s the perfect gift for any fashion focussed racist

–          WWE attempted to get fans excited about Triple H’s Wrestlemania Retirement match by having “retired” Superstar Shawn Michaels make yet another appearance. Because nothing gets me more excited about a stipulation than someone who can’t stick to it

–          CM Punk and Paul Heyman shocked the WWE Universe as Paul Heyman donned Paul Bearer make up and CM Punk dressed like a druid. The Undertaker has repeatedly come out badly in his interactions with Punk making us wonder if he’s quite up to task. I’ll ponder this in…

‘TAKER IT OR LEAVE IT

–          The Undertaker is so old he’s having to change his nickname to the Weenom

–          The Undertaker is so old the only streak he has to worry about is the stain he leaves when he can’t make it to the bathroom at night

–          The Undertaker is so old he’s having to change his new finisher to The Last Bus

Now, I don’t want you to think I’m anti-Taker. So for all you Undertaker fans, I give you.

CM & Weep

–          CM Punk represents the WWE Universe as much as Paula Deen represents healthy eating

–          CM Punk dresses like a hobo. Whenever he speaks, I don’t know whether to applaud or send food

–          CM Punk is a huge fan of The Walking Dead. If he’s such a fan of mindless zombies, how come he never dated Kelly Kelly?

Wrestlemania Predictions

So, Wrestlemania is drawing closer and closer. But what might go down at the Show of Shows? Well, it wouldn’t be a PPV without my always incorrect and bizarre predictions. Remember, these are from the brain of a crazy person.

But do make sure you let me know what YOU think will go down at Wrestlemania.

Wade Barrett v The Miz (Pre-Show Match for the Intercontinental Title)

I think this could prove to be a good match. Yes, it’s pre-show but it’s Wrestlemania AND it’s televised. It’s sad to see The Miz come from main eventing to this but, like every job, sometimes you’re on top and sometimes you’re a bottom. Ok, I may be talking about orgies.

Either way, we’re no doubt in for a treat which I think will see The Miz win the title.

WINNER: The Miz

Team Hell No v Dolph Ziggler & Big E Langston (for the Tag Team Titles)

I think this could be a nice surprise of the night. I don’t think this will be a match that’s remembered for being a great match but I think it’ll act as a storytelling device.

It’s my belief that this match will end in a no-contest thanks to AJ shenanigans. I’m guessing some sort of double count-out. I think that AJ will screw Dolph over and leave him out of the Tag Team title race.

More on Big E’s role later…

WINNERS: No Contest

Tons Of Funk & The Funkadactyls vs Team Rhodes Scholars & The Bella Twins

This match is so dumb. This is more pre-show worthy than Barrett v Miz. But, alas, it’s happening and it’s currently the only divas action on the card.

WINNERS: Team Rhodes Scholars & The Bella Twins

Ryback v Mark Henry

This is a match I’m not particularly interested in seeing. I just don’t buy into a storyline where it’s literally two men putting their dicks on the table and measuring. It seems a pathetic story of “I’M BIGGER THAN YOU” and I don’t think it’s Wrestlemania worthy. However, I do think we’ll see some rather agile big men do some cool stuff.

WINNER: Ryback

Chris Jericho vs Fandango

This is one I’m really looking forward to. I know Fandango is a great wrestler and I also know that Chris Jericho knows how to work a match like a freaking pro. Their story has been another loose one. The fact that Jericho isn’t saying Fandango’s name properly isn’t exactly storyline of the year but, at the same time, you know it’s something deeper for Jericho. It’s about respect.

But, I think this is the night of new talent so I’m going for Fandango.

WINNER: Fandango

Randy Orton, Sheamus & The Big Show v The Shield

I think this will be a great match. The Big Show is the live wire in this one and there’s been a lot of talk of Sheamus or Randy turning over to the dark side. The three men don’t get along but they have been bound by their hatred for The Shield.

My guess is that The Shield will have an even bigger role at Wrestlemania. Again… more on that later. Either way, they’re winning this.

WINNERS: The Shield

Jack Swagger v Alberto Del Rio (for the World Heavyweight Championship)

Certainly a fun storyline and I think they’ve played it really well. It’s ruffled a few Tea Party feathers and, heck, that’s always fun. I think both these men have great talent and have done a lot with what they’ve been dealt with.

There’s a lot of layers to this match. The bigotry of Swagger and Colter mixed with the pain inflicted on Alberto’s gay Mexican lover, Ricardo Rodriguez. I don’t believe that we’ll see an end to this feud at Wrestlemania.

It’s my belief that the winner of this match will be Jack Swagger who will win thanks to some sort of trickery. I then think Alberto will exact his revenge on Swagger by beating him up. This then gives Dolph Ziggler the chance to cash in, this time, successfully.

However, as Ziggler celebrates in the ring, Big E Langston (who is flanked by AJ) will come to the ring and destroy Ziggler. Ziggler turns face and he and Big E go on to battle it out.

WINNER: Jack Swagger followed by a Dolph Ziggler cash in

Triple H vs Brock Lesnar (If Triple H loses, he must retire)

This is a match where I genuinely don’t know who the winner will be. I find it very hard to guess. Triple H is clearly moving on up with his responsibilities in WWE and spends most of his time finding new talent. Brock Lesnar doesn’t tend to stick around long either, so it’s hard to tell.

I think that Wrestlemania is going to be a night where we say goodbye to old friends. WWE is going home, to where WWE has its headquarters and where it built its empire from. I think it’d be fitting to see new stars formed and older flames be blown out.

That’s why, regrettably, I believe Brock Lesnar will win.

WINNER: Brock Lesnar

The Undertaker v CM Punk

This is another one that’s hard to predict. It’s hard to ever think of the streak being ended but I think if anyone is going to do it, it’s CM Punk. CM Punk is WWE’s biggest new star. He has millions of fans behind him. CM Punk already has the Urn, a part of Undertaker. The only thing keeping Undertaker alive is the streak.

As I said above, I think this Wrestlemania will see some flames burn out and I think Undertaker’s will be one of them. CM Punk wins, kills the streak and, thus, kills Undertaker. And, at the same time, has millions more people hate him to become the ultimate heel.

WINNER: CM Punk

The Rock v John Cena (for the WWE Championship)

I’m looking forward to this match. The simple answer here would be that Cena simply couldn’t lose again, surely not. Because Cena is pinning everything on this… this is his redemption. The Rock, however, has the WWE Title. HIS WWE title. The Rock despises John Cena because Cena is the star of WWE. Michael Cole said it today during the Wrestlemania press conference “this man has held up the WWE for almost ten years”.

This is where things, in my mind, get interesting. What if The Rock wins thanks to The Shield. What if, the entire time, The Rock has been behind The Shield. The injustice they are fighting is the injustice that he isn’t WWE’s biggest star anymore. All the people The Shield have taken out are rising stars or people the fans love. What if The Rock is trying to destroy everything and everyone that seems to be rising hire than he is.

It’s far-fetched. Unlikely to happen. But that’s my prediction.

WINNER: The Rock

So there we have it. The predictions of a mad man. Could we see an epic Face turn from Dolph Ziggler and an epic Heel turn from The Rock?

No matter what happens, I cannot wait for Wrestlemania.

XO-TWB

Raw In Jokes

Hey hey.

Once again, I forgot to do my WWEek In Jokes. If you’re looking for a consistent blog… y’in the wrong place. It *was* my niece’s birthday so that’s a pretty legit excuse, you guys.

So, it’s Raw Recap Sunday. So let’s have a Raw In Jokes special.

Enjoy.

XO-TWB

–          John Cena debuted a new bright yellow t-shirt because being a John Cena fan wasn’t embarrassing enough

–          Fandango was infuriated when Chris Jericho failed to pronounce his name properly. Don’t take it to heart, buddy, nobody knows who you are

–          Jack Swagger broke the ankle of Ricardo Rodriguez. Don’t worry, Ricardo, I’m sure Jack can hook you up with some good “pain relief”

–          The Big Show came to the aide of Randy Orton and Sheamus. I don’t know about Randy but the voices in my head were telling me to change the channel

–          Triple H will be forced to retire if he loses against Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania which leads me to a very special spin-off of WWEek In Jokes called C’mon WWE!*

 

*        C’mon WWE, Triple H has teased retirement more than Brad and Angelina have had children I mean, c’mon.

*        And C’mon WWE, didn’t Triple H retire last year? The only people benefiting from all these retirements are the people who make the cake, c’mon!

*        Oh c’mon, how bad of a stipulation can it be? The man is married to the daughter of the chairman. “Looks like I’m going to have to retire” “How about we just rehire you?” “That’ll work” c’mon!

*        C’mon WWE, how stupid do you think we are? There’s no real threat here. And sure, it may very well be Triple H’s last match… of March. But he’s like herpes, he’ll keep coming back.

*        And C’mon WWE, don’t think I hate Triple H. I think he’s great. But it’s hard to get excited about a match where a guy who literally runs the company might lose his career. It’s not like he’s going to lose everything. He’s the son-in-law of a billionaire. I’ve seen more jeopardy on an actual episode of Jeopardy. C’MON!

*Yes, this entire bit was ripped from SNL Weekend Update’s “Really?!” but fuck you.

Rockin’ Raw Poetry Recap

Hey all.

As you know I often try to come up with unique ways to give you your Raw Recap. This week is a poem.

Enjoy…

XO-TWB

This week on Raw was mostly a tribute
But even that turned into major dispute
The cad that is Punk interrupted Undertaker
Who was paying tribute to Paul Bearer, who’d sadly met his maker
Evil Punk soon found himself placed in a match with Kane
His protests fell on deaf ears, his anger all in vein

Big Show tried to step up
And take down The Shield
But, much like acting, this wasn’t his strongest field
The gang were far too much for even the Big Show
He was soon laid on his back and The Shield gained a new foe

Ziggler faced Daniel Bryan
The match was rather great
But even when Dolph had won
They rubbed it in Bryan’s face
AJ signalled for Big E to lift him on his back
Soon D-Bry was up in the air, and the goat hit the mat

Fandango was supposed to wrestle
But he refused to yet again
His problem is that nobody seems
To know how to say his name

The New Age Outlaws were in a match
Against The Rhodes Scholars
But Brock Lesnar interrupted to boos and to hollers
Brutal Brock hit F5 and Heyman took to the mic
They said Triple H could have the match…
But they’d pick what ever stipulation they’d like

Kofi faced Mark Henry and Kingston was just squashed
I guess it’s nice to see it but I didn’t care to watch
Henry will face Ryback soon as the giant faces another
I hope I will change my mind but right now I’m like “oh, brother”

The Bella Twins returned on Raw
With Rhodes Scholars they did flirt
Poor Kaitlyn was stood there but was soon kicked to the curb!

Ryback faced Heath Slater
The Ginger was soon ground
Ryback really is the meanest Will Sasso Lookalike around

Del Rio faced Antonio
It was a match that was quite fun
But his feud with Jack Swagger well,
That’s only really just begun

Rhodes Scholars returned to the ring
In a match with new opponents
Sadly for this duo, Orton and Sheamus owned it
With an RKO and a brogue, their luck was truly out
A Shorton victory made the crowd scream and shout

A highlight reel with Jericho was soon invaded
As Brad Maddox tried to explained a match, well, he’d made it
The Miz faced Jericho in a match that was short lived
As Wade Barrett interfered and soon had his skull crushed in
A Code Breaker finish defeated this British monster
But no doubt he’ll get his revenge in a title contest

Swagger faced Sin Cara
After victory he tried to hurt him
So Alberto soon ran in like a Mexican Peter Parker
He and Swagger soon battled, Del Rio with the upperhand
But this will still continue until Swagger has the belt in hand

Then we had the main event
Punk went up against Kane
And thanks to the Undertaker, his brother won that game
But with the Urn that once held such power
CM Punk bashed in Kane’s skull as we closed the third hour.

You’ll Be RAW-Ing With Laughter

I needed to do a Raw Review AND I forgot to post the WWEek In Jokes so I figured, hey, why not combine the two?

It’s Raw In Jokes.

• Triple H and Brock Lesnar both returned to Raw this week to continue this year’s Wrestlemania theme of “guys who are hardly ever there”.
• Alberto Del Rio said that America was great because it belonged to everyone. “I don’t think so, buddy”, said China.
• Donald Trump has been added to the Hall Of Fame in WWE’s bid to make Zeb Coulter seem less conservative.
• Randy Orton defeated Antonio Cessaro in what is being called “the best toilet break of the night”.
• Daniel Bryan was forced to perform with a bag over his head in a “Things Brie Bella Makes Me Wear” match.
• Jack Swagger continued his winning streak as he heads for New York in what is being called his Road To Xenophobia.
• There has been much online criticism of the praise of John Cena’s hurricarana on Raw with many saying the move was “botched” and “overrated”. Because if anyone knows athletics, it’s bloggers.

That was Raw In Jokes.

Until next week,

XO-TWB