Category Archives: Funkasaurus

Survivor Series Goes Aw-Ry

Survivor Series was an interesting PPV with many twists and turns but what exactly went down? Well I’m glad you asked because I’ve only gone and done a bloody recap, so I have.

The show began with a bogus bonus elimination match. It was to be what I have dubbed Team Cara: Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio, Justin Gabriel, Tyson Kidd & Brodus Clay vs Team Albert: Lord Tensai, Prime Time Players, Primo & Epico. It was actually not a terrible match considering it was rather shoe-horned in and it’s nice to see that they’ve decided to build Tyson and Justin a little further. It did raise some worried over Brodus’ future as he was the only member of Team Cara to be eliminated.

I’m also worried about the Prime Time Player’s eyesight as their tights get uglier and brighter each week. It was a seemingly easy win for Team Cara.

Winner:  Team Cara
My Prediction: No prediction due to shoe-in match
Score: 0-0

Backstage we saw Kaitlyn heading to ring until someone in a bad Goldust wig attacked her from behind. Kaitlyn gained the upperhand this time and unveiled the culprit as Aksana. UM… didn’t we already know Aksana was the culprit? Anyways, Eve turned up and said she’d “hate if anything happened to Kaitlyn before the match” to which Kaitlyn pushed Eve over and said the same thing. OMG. RUDE. Eve was trying to be nice.

Then came the actual match itself and I have to say, it was also pretty good. It’s a shame WWE crowds are general douchenozzles and the commentary team didn’t help much either but both women pulled off a good match.  The beginning of the end for Kaitlyn began when Eve literally pulled the rug from underneath her. After hitting a neckbreaker, Eve picked up the win and also grabbed herself a little something extra.

Winner: Eve
My Prediction: Eve
Score: 1-0

Backstage once more but this time it was to the Team Foley locker room. All men were basically bickering as WWE tried to get across the “THEY HATE EACH OTHER, LIKE, LOTS” dynamic of the group. Mick tried to intervene and get the guys onside requesting they finger bang each other. However, Orton simply grunted and told Mick he hated him.

The next match was Antonio Cessaro v R Truth. I opted for Team Toilet Break and ignored most of this match. Two very dull men in what was no doubt a very dull match. Cessaro retained.

Winner: Antonio Cessaro
My Prediction: R Truth
Score: 1-1

Monday Night Raw then trickled into the Survivor Series fun with AJ Lee coming to the ring to make good on an earlier promise to reveal Vickie’s unsavoury antics. I and many others presumed they were going to finally reveal the hypocrisy of Vickie accusing AJ of getting too close to a superstar, *cough* Dolph Ziggler *cough*, but instead AJ went down the photoshop route of putting up fake images of Vickie in compromising positions. AJ missed a few tricks with it but it was kinda funny. Vickie was furious and AJ reminded her Vickie wasn’t allowed to hit her. Then, inexplicably, Tamina came to the ring to beat down AJ. M’kay…

Josh Matthews was then backstage interviewing Paul Heyman and questioned CM Punk’s ability to win the match. Heyman took offense, obvs, and launched into a beautiful diatribe about Punk’s achievements and how he’ll continue to achieve etc etc. It was beautiful but there’s only so much recapping of an interview you can do, y’know?

It was then time for Sheamus and Big Show to go head-to-head. I haven’t been uber keen on this whole feud but the two have had some interesting matches for sure. Sheamus had been all over WWE adverts played throughout the show and I was beginning to see them as some sort of clue. It looked like I was right as Sheamus managed to get the big man down but, as Sheamus went to hit the Brogue Kick, Big Show pulled the ref infront of him. Scott Armstrong went down like a sack of potatoes and other referees clambered to his side. The bell hadn’t yet been rung so when Big Show hit the WMD and pinned it looked like he’d win. A referee did the three count and everything. However, a different referee changed the decision to make it a Big Show DQ. Ooh, bitch please.

Sheamus then decided to put the beat down on Big Show with a steel chair, obviously symbolising that this thing will head into TLC in a chair match no doubt.

Winner: Sheamus via DQ
My Prediction: Big Show
Score: 1-2

Then it was Team Ziggler v Team Foley time. Many had been looking forward to a sexy reveal of Dolph’s new trunks that he’d previously promised on Twitter.

However, it wasn’t to be but Dolph still looked good. Team Ziggler took the first hit after Damien Sandow got caught with a chokeslam when his plot to abandon his team failed. It looked to be going slowly downhill for Team Ziggler but they soon gained the upperhand and eventually it all came down to Randy Orton and Dolph himself. Orton set on a homoerotic beatdown (aren’t they always?) on Ziggler and it looked like he was going for the punt. I immediately began to cry “NOT THE FACE” but Orton’s plot was thwarted by a well-timed superkick. Ziggler pinned Orton for the win.

Winner: Team Ziggler
My Prediction: Team Foley
Score: 1-3

It was main event time as Ryback, Cena and Punk went head-to-head for the WWE Championship. I was nervous about the bought but my nerves melted when I realised how hot Cena looked in his new gear. Anyways, the three men tried their best to make it work with Cena and Punk even teaming up to put Ryback through the announce table.

It looked like the winner of the night would the Spanish Announce Table but, as Ryback got set to pick up the win, three men ran into the ring and beat Ryback and Cena down. They then put Ryback through the Spanish Announce Table.

These three men were the much-talked-about Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns. The Internet fanbase has gone crazy and I’m no doubt going to be seen as a moron for not knowing or caring who they are. I’m going to give this whole thing chance but this just seems to me to be like a new Nexus. I also reckon Brad Maddox will be part of it. Either way, the distraction allowed Punk to pin Cena to retain.

Winner: CM Punk
My Prediction: John Cena
Score: 1-4


Yet again my predictions failed but, oh well! It was an interesting PPV which opened the door for a few fun stories.

Until next time,

XO-TWB

Time To Get Survivor Serious

This week’s Raw was coming from my home country of the UK and boy what a show! The Birmingham crowd were on fire, butts were bubblier than ever and I have to say, it’s been one of the strongest UK editions of the show I’ve seen in a while. But what went down? Read on, my loves!

Raw opened up with an angry Miz telling Paul Heyman that CM Punk is a coward. Heyman told Miz that he needed to get onboard along with the rest of the team. Miz, however, wasn’t having any of it and abruptly quit Team Punk.

The first match of the night was 6-man tag action with Rey Mysterio, Sin Cara and R Truth teaming up against The Prime Time Players and Antonio Cessaro. Admittedly, it was more of a 4 against 3 match because I’m pretty sure Rey’s stomach counts for a 4th person. Those black latex shirts aren’t fooling anyone, Rey.

It was a so-so match with your usual fair which resulted in R Truth picking up the win.

Then it was time for Vickie Guerrero to have her say. For those who have been hiding in a hole (I know a few holes I wouldn’t mind hiding in), Vickie is currently the Raw Managing Supervisor which is WWE’s way of trying to get around the fact the GM role never stays filled for long. Vickie believes that AJ Lee and John Cena were having an affair whilst AJ was General Manager. Now, I don’t understand the issue here because both AJ and John are unmarried and they can do what and whoever they want. Vickie, however, had more footage.

Cena came to the ring to see exactly what the incriminating evidence was and this time it was juicier. It involved towels and sneaking around. It was like the entire segment was produced by Jerry Sandusky. Cena, however, maintained his plea of innocence saying that all the evidence was circumstantial. Vickie disagreed and wanted to hear AJ’s side of the story. AJ, however, wasn’t willing to come to the ring as she’d want to punch Vickie in the face and well, if she does that then she’s fired and said she wouldn’t be able to do what she loves to do. Dolph Ziggler then turned up and told AJ we all know what she loves to do. Ziggler is so Mean Girls. I love it. With that Cena darted out the ring and Vickie screeched with joy.

Backstage, Paul Heyman tried to convince Wade Barrett to join Team Punk at Survivor Series. Whilst initially hesitant, Barrett eventually agreed.

The next match was Daniel Bryan v Cody Rhodes. The match was actually pretty good but a distraction from Kane and Damien Sandow allowed Cody to pick up the win. Afterwards, Cody took to the mic to lisp his way through some gloating. He also said that his partner Damien Sandow could easily beat Kane and with that we had an impromptu Kane v Damien Sandow match!

Kane and Sandow really went at it but Bryan and Rhodes were proving to be distracting. After Cody ran into the ring to avoid a Daniel Bryan beatdown, the referee expelled both of them from ringside. This allowed Kane to hit Sandow with a chokeslam for the win.

It was then time for Brad Maddox to explain himself. I strongly believed he should’ve come out butt naked and shook that cute little tush and all would be forgiven. Alas, it wasn’t to be but Maddox’s ample glutes were well displayed in the trousers he was wearing. Anyway, back to the action as Maddox explained his reasons for interfering in the Punk v Ryback WWE Championship Match. Maddox said that he’d be in FCW for a long time and was told that he wouldn’t make it. He believes it’s because he’s not tall or fast enough. That he doesn’t fit in. It was your usual fodder but the guy looked totally cute the entire time so, take a look.

After the speech, Mr McMahon came out and offered Maddox a contract if he’s able to beat Ryback on next week’s Raw.

Once Maddox had left the ring, Mr McMahon bought out Vickie Guerrero. He said that it seemed odd to not have Punk defend his title at Survivor Series. After trying to get Dolph the gig, Vickie eventually gave in and announced Ryback as the opponent. But Mr McMahon didn’t want it to end there, he said it should be a triple threat match but who should the opponent be? Ah yes, John Cena. Vickie reluctantly agreed and the match was made. And that’s how WWE works folks. Other people make decisions and then Vince steps in and forces them to change their mind.

Sheamus took on The Miz in the next match and I was pleasantly surprised. First of all, The Big Show was on commentary and I have to say he was a delight. His anger at Michael Cole was brilliant. And the match? It was great! The Miz and Sheamus really pulled out the stops and it was a genuine nail biter. Also, Miz wore blue. Bitch looks good in blue.

Backstage, Dolph Ziggler was pacing outside Mr McMahon’s office. Vickie exited and had great news, now that Punk was no longer team captain, Dolph will take the helm. So it’ll now be Team Foley v Team Ziggler. CM Punk, however, was not best pleased and expressed his displeasure to Vickie. She then announced that Ziggler and Punk would team up to face Ryback and Cena!

Then it looked like we were getting a promo for a new diva as Sex & The City-esque music played and bright colours flashed. Turns out it’s for a new Superstar by the name of Fandangoo. Rumour has it Fandangoo will be Johnny Curtis’ new gimmick. However, it seems like WWE had a few spelling issues because on Smackdown, they dropped one of the ‘O’s. Homo they didn’t.

Now, usually when WWE does UK shows there’s some sort of UK segment. Someone drinking tea or someone dressed as The Queen. But no. None of that. The most British thing was Sheamus and William Regal backstage deciding to go for a pint. Tip of me ‘at for that guv’nor.

Diva action was up next as Layla and Kaitlyn teamed up against Eve and Aksana. I have to say that these women (let’s be honest, minus Aksana) are very good in the ring. Eve’s clearly sprucing up her moves and Layla’s new high-risk move set works like a dream. It even helped she and Kaitlyn pick up the win.

Backstage once more where Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez discussed the fact that ADR wasn’t team captain. Then he bumped into Rosa Mendes. The two seemed to have chemistry so watch out for a storyline there.

ADR’s opponent for the night would be Kofi Kingston. Kingston was seemingly set to lose as ADR put on a beat down. However, Randy Orton’s music hit and caused a distraction which allowed Kofi to roll ADR up for the win. After the match, ADR ran into an RKO by Orton. Orton’s face, however, seems to have been ran into by too much botox. His face is so puffed up. Maybe he had an allergic reaction to some fake tan. Or y’know. Pills again.

More tag action in the next match which was Primo and Epico Fail vs Zack Ryder and Santino. Not worth discussing really. Ryder and Santino won.

Wade Barrett then had a match against Brodus Clay. A weird pairing but they had to give Barrett a match since he was on home turf. The crowd were freakin’ electric as they watched Barrett pick up the inevitable win.

3 man band member Heath Slater then went up against one of the Usos. I can’t even. This three hour thing is really starting to not work out, you guys.

Then it was main event time and boy was it a doozy. Dolph and Punk really lay into Cena for the duration of the match and Dolph hitting elbow drop after elbow drop was particularly brutal. Ryback, meanwhile, was foaming at the mouth to be let into the match up. He soon got his way and cleared house and picked up the win.

Afterwards, he and Cena stared each other down.

I’m still not buying into Ryback as a character with longevity but good luck to the guy.

Until next time,

XO-TWB

Refereeasy On The Eyes

This week’s Raw certainly raised a few questions about what direction WWE is going in and I can’t say I hate it. But what exactly happened this week? Read on, Mon Cherie.

Raw opened this week with CM Punk and blowhard Paul Heyman who acted as Punk’s mouthpiece yet again. Heyman explained that he and Punk were holding Raw hostage, due to the injustice of the previous week when CM Punk lost against John Cena despite having his foot on the rope. To smooth this injustice, Heyman called out Referee Brad Maddox to the ring to apologies and resign.

Maddox agreed and came to the ring. Side note, how hot is Maddox? He’s actually a wrestler whose real name is Brent Wellington and he was previously part of FCW (or NXT as it’s now known). Anyways, he’s got a banging ass which looks even better in tights.

Courtesy of Just Us Boys Forum

Moving on, Maddox did apologise saying he genuinely didn’t see what happened but he refused to resign. He then explained that he was actually called upon last minute by AJ Lee, the GM, as a replacement. For those who aren’t in the know, the NFL (American Football) recently had a referee crisis in which their referees went on strike. In response, NFL drafted in some “replacement referees” who weren’t so good thus creating lots of controversy and WWE decided to use it for leverage.

So, Punk then used to opportunity to berate the GM causing her to come out and defend herself. Maddox left the ring and AJ faced Heyman and Punk. Punk then decided he’d mock AJ and her previous breakdown in which she proposed to him because nobody had ever really been nice to her. This resulted in Paul Heyman proposing to AJ, promising they’d become a power couple akin to Triple H and Stephanie McMahon. AJ decided to slap him instead.

Backstage, Sexy Ref apologised to AJ for what happened. She got all weird and said she’d fire him if it ever happened again. Bitch per-lease.

The first match of the night was Dolph Ziggler v Kofi Kingston. Ziggler was accompanied by Vickie as always and Kofi was accompanied by tag team partner R Truth and his imaginary friend Little Jimmy. Vickie decided to mock Little Jimmy whilst he was sat down, enraging Truth who confronted her. In all fairness, Jimmy was just having a nice drink and some popcorn. Anyways, things got heated, R Truth threw water at Vickie and both were ejected from ringside.

The match got underway and I have to say it was brilliant. JR was right; it turned very quickly into a main event match up with lots of finish fake outs and just generally cool moves. Ultimately, it was Dolph who would pick up the win over Kofi.

It was then announced that John Cena has had surgery on his elbow and would discuss his future.

We then had another Daniel Bryan/Kane/Doctor Shelby Anger Management session. These have been a real highlight and I implore you to check it out.

Match two was the Prime Time Players v Zack Ryder and Santino Morella. WWE really does seem to be giving more light to Tag Teams but I am nervous about the number of tag team matches on WWE programming over singles. I understand it’s a way of displaying as much talent as possible but it can get a little predictable. Anyways, it was a good match and the Prime Time Players are getting better with each bout. They picked up the win.

Then out came Mick Foley. Honestly, I don’t want to recap it. His speech to Punk about being a legend and not a statistic was awesome.

WATCH!

Then it was The Miz v Ryback. Here’s where I eat humble pie. I argued that Ryback wouldn’t last very long and that he sucks. I stand by the sucks comment but it’s obvious the crowd love him for some reason. Maybe it’s to do with his resemblance to loveable funnyman Will Sasso. Who knows. And, actually, his match against The Miz wasn’t terrible. The Miz got a few shots in. The show, however, was stolen by a crazed fan who ran into the ring and was immediately tackled. I thought it was just some schtick but clearly it wasn’t. Maybe it was one of the jobbers Ryback destroyed? Both men were extremely professional and carried on, with Ryback picking up the win.

Then we had more anger management.

Backstage, in AJ’s office, she wanted to make it clear to all referees including Sexy Ref that it should be business as normal and they should go out there and do what they do best. After the referees left and I stopped thinking about what I’d like to do to Maddox, Alberto Del Rio came in flunked by David Otunga and Ricardo Rodriguez. The men weren’t happy and AJ knew saying they deserved some sort of vengeance and would all team up against Sheamus, Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara.

Then the Wade Barrett onslaught continued with a fantastic win over Tyson Kidd.

Michael Cole then took to the ring to interview Jerry Lawler. WWE handled the episode of Raw where Jerry had the heart attack really well but, once they realised Lawler was alive and kicking, they’re milking that cash cow until it’s dry. I think trying to profit from a heart attack is terrible but it’s not surprising. Not only did they trail Lawler’s interview like it was the rising of Christ but now they’re selling a Long Live The King t-shirt. Mamma mia. Jerry does look good though. Keep well, King.

Then it was time for 6 man tag action. Botchamania favourites Mysterio and Sin Cara teamed up with Sheamus to face ADR, Otunga and Ricardo. The match was what you’d expect but it got the point across and didn’t make me want to rip my own eyeballs out too much. Sin Cara picked up the win with a Sheamus assist and then Sheamus hit the Brogue Kick on Otunga. And balance is restored.

Then we got another instalment off Diner Anger Management.

After that, it was time for Daniel Bryan and Kane to come out and discover what their tag team name would be. The suggestions were generally horrible and they were all prefixed by the word “team” which is clearly WWE’s way of jumping onto the Twilight Team Edward/Jacob/Bella nonsense. Anyways, the Universe plumbed for Team Hell No but, before they could celebrate, Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow jumped in to attack them.

Cody then took to the mic and announced they would be known as Team Rhodes Scholars. It seems a little mean to give a guy with a lisp that many s’s but he managed. I guess this “team” thing is going to stick. Might cause confusion come Survivor Series.

After that  got some Divas Tag Action with Layla and Alicia Fox facing Beth Phoenix and Eve. It was actually a good match and you can’t fault Eve’s wrestling. I am surprised that she can fall on her face without those teeth getting stuck in the mat though.

After Eve stole a win from Beth, Kaitlyn came out and said she remembers that the person who attacked her at Night Of Champions was blonde. Eve immediately pinned it on Beth and took her out. But who could it be (note: definitely not Kelly Kelly… bye, bitch, btw)? Either way, it’s nice to see the Divas getting a real storyline. Nothing like a good whodunit.

Funkasaurus Brodus Clay went against Lord Tensai next. It was a boring match until Big Show came out and knocked both men out. I don’t know if it was even for anything other than to break up what was a very dull bout.

Then it was time for Cena to face the public. He came out and did his usual schtick of saying he’s had a shit week, that he’s not sure if he can go on. Then he, as always, contradicted himself, and said that he’d make sure he was ready to face Punk at Hell In A Cell. I’m actually excited for that match and I love Cena but I think the guy should take a break. He’s just had surgery. I fear he’ll end up doing himself way too much damage.

Punk then came out and berated him and told Cena to get out of his ring. Punk and Heyman gave him to the count of three but, as Punk turned, Cena grabbed a steel pipe from his shorts (giggle) and beat on Punk with it.

Backstage, Punk sloped back still in pain from the attack. There, he noticed Mick Foley and decided to beat him up. Punk walked away but attempted to go back but he was stopped in his tracks by a terrifying sight… Ryback. Hahaha, I know right? Anyways, Punk walked away.

So what does this mean? Well, WWE are focussing more on Tag Teams and Divas. The Superheavyweights are probably going to have a superheavyweight feud and Ryback is probably going to be pushed to the main event. I mostly don’t hate it. Mostly.

Until next time,

XO-WB

Brock The Fuck Is Going On?

Hello all! I’m baaaack. A week later than planned. Sadly that means I’m glossing over Summerslam but that’s OK. Because Raw is like an epic PPV every week now!

So, Raw has officially gone to 3 hours and I’ve been wracking my brains to think of how I’m going to recap them. Then it hit me; work harder. I can’t let these precious recaps slide just because of an extra hour, right?  But what exactly went down this week?

The show opened with resident block head, Brock Lesnar and his human voice box Paul Heyman. They were coming fresh off a big victory against Triple H at Summerslam and Paul had a few things to say. Basically, they’re trying to push this as the end of Triple H’s career. It’s hard to believe they wouldn’t have made a bit more fuss about one of the greatest superstars of all time retiring from in-ring action but, whatevs, I’ll bite.

Paul said that Triple H wanted and fight and it was a fight he got and that Brock made him quit. Paul then discussed how Triple H used to battle through severe injuries to finish a match but now he tapped out to Brock. Actually, it was a very good promo and it was an interesting angle. It’s just a shame Brock Lesnar is involved. He’s literally the most boring man in WWE ever. And I’m including John Laurinaitis.

Then they decided to bring referee Scott Armstrong out who came out looking like a dog who just took a dump on the carpet. Brock bounced around because that’s all he knows how to do and then patted Scott on the shoulder to thank him for a good job. It is very nice that referees are getting recognition and all but I was a little worried. It hasn’t been a great week for people named Armstrong. With that, Paul declared Brock the new King Of Kings and left the ring.

We then saw a Tout where Punk declared he wanted to pick his own opponent (yes, I’ve had to upload a Tout to Youtube because there’s no support for embedding into WordPress just yet).

On a sidenote, I actually like Tout. It’s interesting. If you want to Tout me some of your thoughts then do so here and I might just use them!

Our first match was 6-man action and it was Kofi Kingston & R Truth & Sin Cara vs Prime Time Players & Cody Rhodes. The Prime Time Players are actually a really good tag team and it was a shame they were held back by the AW bullshit. I called it a while ago that AW would eventually get sacked but the circumstances in which he did were hilarious. In all fairness to AW, it was a really good joke. But that’s the thing about rape jokes… you can’t force them on people.

The match was actually not too bad but it did seem like there were many parts that were confused and things got a little clunky. Cody Rhodes once again became obsessed with Sin Cara’s mask. I’m a little concerned they’re going into the “you’re ugly, I’m beautiful” schtick with Cody again as the whole Dashing Cody Rhodes thing, as fun as the homoerotic vignettes were, was a stepping stone. Cody is much better than that now. Cody’s obsession with de-masking Sin Cara ended up in him losing after Sin Cara rolled him up for the win.

Backstage, Raw GM AJ Lee was chatting to Matt Striker. I’m loving AJ as a GM. Interesting choice indeed. Before AJ could carry on talking, David Otunga appeared. Otunga has been away filming a movie with Halle Berry. A lot of WWE Superstars are off doing movies these days. Good on them. Anyways, Otunga offered to be AJ’s legal counsel and promised to stop people calling her crazy. AJ didn’t like the fact Otunga used the word in front of her and put him in a match with an opponent of her choosing. I hope AJ never runs into Carly Rae Jepsen.

She continued saying that Punk can choose his opponent, subject to her approval.

It was then announced that Khloe Kardashian-Odom is the Social Media Ambassador for the night. It’s great they’re getting popular names but, seriously, these people have never watched WWE in their life! It’d make more sense if they got Kim Kardashian as she’s actually been slammed on camera.

Then it was Ryback vs two jobbers. This whole thing is getting boring so what did they do to spice things up? They had Jinder Mahal run in. I mean, a Ryback/Mahal feud is like having cancer face AIDs. Nobody wins.

Backstage once more to where Dolph Ziggler entered Chris Jericho’s dressing room demanding a rematch. The two went back and forth but AJ broke things up by skipping in and making a declaration. The two WOULD have a rematch but it’d be Ziggler’s Money In The Bank contract vs Y2J’s WWE contract!

Del Rio then made his way to the ring where he spoke about how he deserved another match against Sheamus after the Summerslam one ended in a bit of controversy. AJ came out and declared she wouldn’t interfere in the World Heavyweight Championship set-up as that’s Booker T’s job but she could put Del Rio in a match. And she did, against Randy Orton.

The match wasn’t that bad and a cheeky Sheamus was on commentary. I love Sheamus in full cheeky Irishman mode. It seemed that Randy Orton was going to get caught out by Ricardo but Sheamus stepped in to ensure that didn’t happen. A distracted Randy Orton nearly lost the match but Sheamus pointed out that Randy had his foot on the rope. ADR went mental at Sheamus only to turn around into an RKO to allow Randy Orton to pick up the win.

See, Randy? You can do great things when you’re not on drugs.

Brodus Clay vs Damien Sandow was our next offering and can I just point out a bit of a plothole? Damien Sandow discusses how he’s saving us from social media and populist culture yet he’s got Twitter, YouTube and Tout. Makes no sense.

Anyways, it was a good match which was eventually won by Sandow who grabbed the tights for the win. Brodus, however, wasn’t happy about this and attacked Sandow viciously. It’s a bit bizarre that we all cheered Brodus being a sore loser but the minute he bought those kids in to dance I got over it. SO CUTE!

Then it was Shawn Michaels’ emotional chat via satellite. I won’t talk about it much as you should probably watch it. The gist of it being… Triple H has to realise that his time is over. He’s no longer the competitor he was. He lost. It was all very sad but I didn’t want to wipe away my tears as I prefer using my Kleenex for Dolph Ziggler matches.

David Otunga then came to the ring to face his mystery opponent. That opponent? The Big Show! I must admit, I was a bit down on The Big Show but his fierce persona has been fantastic. He tore Otunga apart completely and it was great. But then we were shown something. A backstage video after Summerslam which I implore you to watch. This is the best I’ve ever seen Big Show. It seemed real, raw, passionate… it was fantastic. More of this, please!

Up next was the anger management match where former enemies must team up. It was Kane and Zack Ryder up against Daniel Bryan and The Miz. I’m loving Daniel Bryan at the minute and the NO! NO! NO! thing is great. The Miz has also returned strong although he’s not as sexy anymore. I miss his old look.

The match itself was fantastic and the Bryan/Miz dynamic was spot-on. Eventually, it boiled down to Bryan and Kane. Bryan slapped Kane and then ran away and The Miz quickly ran too. This left a vulnerable Zack Ryder, along with a timekeeper, to take the hits. It all ended with Ryder being driven into the mat with a tombstone. Woo woo ooh.

Backstage yet again where CM Punk said that he opponent at Night Of Champions would be John Cena but on one condition. That condition? Well, you’ll have to wait.

A Divas Battle Royal was next and what a waste of time it was. It was slow, awkward and pointless. Like the first time I had sex. And the 2nd. 3rd. 4th… shut up. Kaitlyn picked up the win for a title shot we’ll probably never get to see anyway.

Some good news then came. Brock Lesnar announced he was leaving WWE! You heard right. It came out of nowhere and it was announced on TOUT! I know, right? I don’t doubt he’ll be back but it’ll be nice to know WWE will be a Brock-free zone for a while.

Then we had a Wade Barrett vignette. I love it. The whole bare knuckle fighting thing… it’s just great. I’ve never been a huge Wade fan but it’ll be great to see him back. That may be slight British Bias though.

Backstage to Dolph Ziggler’s dressing room (oof… can you imagine? Mmm) where Vickie Guerrero was freaking out. She said they cannot lose and he must win it for her. Dolph said if he was winning it for anyone, it was for himself.

Then we had Ziggler v Y2J and boy… what a match. Y2J lost and I think that was a forgone conclusion. Obviously, he’ll be back. He’s the herpes of WWE… you can never get rid of him. I won’t go too into the match because I think you should watch it. Enjoy!

After the match, Y2J attacked Dolph and left the WWE… for now.

Then it was the main event… well, not match wise but you know what I mean. CM Punk came to the ring. First of all, he wanted a chat with Jerry Lawler. Punk was still unhappy with Lawler’s declaration that Punk had turned his back on the WWE Universe. Lawler explained that’s how he felt at the time but Punk wanted to press the issue. He was stopped in his tracks, however, by Cena.

Punk laughed that Cena couldn’t help himself and then decided to lay down the gauntlet. If Cena wants a WWE title shot then he must say Punk is the best in the world. Cena refused, saying that Punk had to prove he was and that he would wait for a title shot if he needed and then left the ring.

An annoyed Punk then ushered Lawler into the ring and demanded Jerry apologise and announce he’s the best in the world. Lawler refused and then went to leave the ring, only to be kicked in the head by Punk!

So Punk has taken a heel turn. The respect angle is an interesting one and I have to say I’m sort of loving it. There’s been lots of talk about whether or not we want to see Lawler and Punk wrestle and I’m in the “not” camp. Yes, Jerry’s in great shape and can still work in the ring but his style is slower… it’s boring.

But what do you think about this and Raw in general? Hit me up on Twitter, Tout or in the comments section. Like this post? Share it and tell your friends.

Until next time,

XO-WB

DO YOU THINK YOU’D BE GOOD AT DOING RECAPS? I’M LOOKING FOR RECAPPERS. I NEED REGULAR RECAPPERS FOR WWE PPVs AND SMACKDOWN. GET IN TOUCH.

People Power Outage

No Way Out was a fun affair and I actually quite liked the show. My predictions amounted to what they always do and I ended up getting nearly every single one wrong. I’m smart like that. So what exactly went down then?

The opening bout was surprisingly the World Heavyweight Championship Match. I smelt shenanigans with the fact it was up first and I racked my Red Bull infused brain to find an answer. I came up with nothing. I began to think that we were going to be hit with dejavu as, when the bell rang, Dolph pulled a Daniel Bryan and made Vickie kiss him. Sheamus went for the Brogue Kick but luckily this time the 18 second victory was not to happen.

It was a fantastic match and both men did a great job. It was clear that they put their best in and it made me sweat just watching them. Plus I’m also overweight. I chomped down on my Milkybar (not a euphemism) nervously as it seemed my future 3rd husband (after Zac Efron and Cody Rhodes) was going to see gold. Sadly, it wasn’t to be and Sheamus picked up the win.

Soon, my love. Soon.

Backstage, J-Lau turned up wearing a suit that made him look like a cinema usher. I’ve no idea what he was thinking but I’m going to presume he wasn’t thinking at all. J-Lau was trying to convince Mr McMahon that he didn’t need to be at ringside for the match because of his concussion and everything. Vince wasn’t conVINCED (I know, sorry) and slammed the door in his face. Someone was grumpy but inappropriate emotional responses are a side effect to a concussion. Obviously, some people take that to the extreme. I’m looking at you, Benoit.

Scumbag Josh Matthews then waded in asking J-Lau about the pressure of perhaps getting fired. J-Lau then told Josh he was a failed wrestler and unfit to be an announcer. Bitch PLEASE.

The WWE “Universe” have been up in arms about how WWE is only about the kiddies and that joke matches are wrong. This is the same group of people who cheered for Colt Cabana when CM Punk gave him a shout out. To quote resident flag kicker Chris Jericho. YOU’RE ALL SYCOPHANTS AND HYPOCRITES. I am, indeed, talking about the Tuxedo Match which saw Santino Morella take on Ricardo Rodriguez.

It was what we expected and Santino picked up the win. I like the humour of it all and I genuinely LOL’d when Ricardo sauntered off in Del Rio undies.

Bacstage once more to Matt Striker who was interviewing CM Punk. Punk talked about how Bryan was a good technical wrestler but was interrupted by cray cray AJ. Did you know AJ was crazy? I know, right? It’s not like it’s been mentioned a gazillion times. AJ basically wished Punk luck but then Punk got all douchey and said luck was for losers. I actually think Punk is a bit of a dickhead really. There, I said it.

Cody Rhodes, who disappeared for a while, was up against Christian in our next match. Cody was hoping for a third reign in the same way I want to be in a three way with him and Dolph. The match was actually really good and the two really went at it. There was a move where Cody bent Christian’s arm back and the stood on his elbow which actually made me cringe. I’m such a “mark”, you guys.

However it seemed like I was a common curse as future husband #2 lost to Christian.

Then it was the turn of unknown tag teams to get in on the PPV action. It was to be a Four Way Tag Team Match to see who would be the #1 contender for the Tag Team Titles. It’s a nice change for them to decide the contenders this way as usually names are picked out from a hat. The match was really good and it wasn’t a clusterfuck as I expected. There was a great moment when Tyson Kidd hit the hurricarana off the top rope to the outside, knocking everyone down. And it was also fun to see Justin Gabriel’s cute little butt back in action.

The win eventually went to Titus O’Neil and Darren Young aka the Primetime Players. It turns out that Abraham Washington screwed over Primo and Epico Fail. Good stuff, nice to see the tag division getting a good story.

I’d like to pause this recap a minute to say something which annoyed me. For those who don’t know, The Primetime Players wear pink ring attire. This caused Booker T to say that he thought they were “a little fruityish if you know what I mean… a little sweet”. I’m not going to accept homophobia from some jumped up moron who can’t even string a sentence together. So, fuck you Booker T. Interestingly, he doesn’t make such comments about Dolph who not only wore pink but used to jiggle his arse for everyone.

Back to the recap, Triple H came to the ring to challenge Brock Lesnar to a match. And that was it. I was a little disappointed because Triple H was WAY off his game and rambled for a while about trying to find the balance between being corporate and a wrestler. I think it’s time WWE decided what they wanted him to be. If they want a corporate figure, then make him that. I think Trips would make a great GM. He’s my favourite ever wrestler but the lack of continuity in his character is starting to grate on me.

Backstage, AJ wished Daniel Bryan luck. What is that girl playing at?!

Divas action was up next as Beth Phoenix took on the champ, Layla. I have to say, this match KICKED BUTT! It was awesome. It was the right length, there were great moves. Even the announcers got behind it. Sadly, the crowd were dead but we’re going in the right direction. If they can pull this shit off more often, the Divas Division will soon be strengthened. Also, did anyone notice Layla just full on grab Beth’s boob when she went for the pin? Personal space, girl.

Backstage to AJ once more but this time she was talking to Kane. She went to wish him luck but ended up making out with him instead. Can I just say, I frickin’ LOVE these two. They’re like a Twilight type of relationship. Or even Monsters Inc if Boo was older and Sulley was nailing her.

For some reason we had Sin Cara v Hunico. Sin Cara won. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

Then it was the triple threat match. I don’t want to say too much except watch it. I was so apprehensive about Kane’s addition into this but with the AJ angle, it all worked great. AJ ran in towards the end, she was knocked off the apron, Kane was distracted and Punk picked up the win.

As Kane scooped AJ up and took her away, she smiled at Punk like it was her plan all along. LOVE IT.

After the great came the awful… Ryback was “fed” more. I’m so sick of this Will Sasso lookalike stinking up my WWE experience. GO AWAY.

Then we had the main event, the cage match. I was apprehensive about how boring this would be and at first it appeared I was right. There was only so much these two could do but this one was about the story. It seemed like Big Show was going to win but Brodus Clay ran down to the ring with a steel chair, blocking his exit. People were expecting a swerve where Brodus hit Cena instead but I didn’t think that. Soon a plethora of Big Show victims ran down to unsuccessfully stop The Big Show.

As Cena made his way out, J-Lau tried to knock him off with his crutch. It looked like Show was going to sneak out the door but Cena won!

J-Lau was fired.

My heart broke.

And so did the Spanish Announce Table.

There we ave it, that was No Way Out.

Until next time,

XO-WB

Vince McSlammed

This week’s Raw was actually quite enjoyable. I am, however, a super McFahon (that’s a Fan of the McMahon Family) so any appearance by any of them was always going to bolster my enjoyment. It was also the first 3 hour Raw. I’m currently reviewing the way I recap because 3 hour Raws are going to be a bitch to do in this current format. So if you’ve any ideas, let me know.

The show opened with J-Lau who was surprisingly chipper considering he was having a job evaluation. It’s been a point of contention amongst WWE fans because we’re all pretty sure Vince got stripped of his day to day duties. But, it’s Vince so I decided to let it go. Before J-Lau could get past even introducing himself, Vince’s music hit and the crowd went wild. I love Vince’s strut and often try to emulate it but I was chastised for mocking Cerebral Palsy so had to stop. Vince even did a backwards strut; it was a thing of beauty.

In the ring, J-Lau extended his hand but Vince refused noting that he didn’t know where it’d been. Ooh, bitch please. Vince then waved away J-Lau’s insistence that he was an astute businessman blaming him for the 2 lawsuits that came with the Lesnar signing. I was torn here because, technically, it was Triple H’s fault but at the same time… Brock Lesnar is a prick. Vince then continued explaining that The Big Show’s signing was also a bad idea as he’s not performed effectively since 1999. I found this ironic on the same night in which The Great Khali in a number one contender’s match was deemed a good idea. More on that later.

The party was then interrupted by Sheamus. Sheamus came to the ring and it seemed like he was going to defend J-Lau but he actually launched into a tirade against him. This was interrupted by Vince who announced that “#firejohnny” was trending worldwide. This is what we’ve come to; the Chairman of WWE announcing hashtags live on air. In led me to wish that Vince had a Twitter too but I guess the parody accounts can tide me over.

It all came to an end when Vince warned J-Lau that he had to impress or he will be fired. Vince then left the ring on J-Lau’s scooter which he then drove off the stage. RIP Scooter. J-Lau vowed revenge on Sheamus announcing he’d have a match against… Lord Tensai. Eurgh.

The Tensai match sucked and Sheamus got the win. Backstage, Vince, J-Lau and Teddy discussed who might be Del Rio’s replacement at No Way Out. Vickie interrupted suggesting her two clients get in on the action. It was then left to Teddy to suggest a Fatal Fourway… Ziggler, Swagger, Christian and… THE GREAT KHALI. FREAKIN’ KHALI?! The only push he should be getting is in a wheelchair. He can barely walk. Vince declared it a “great” idea. I hope he was being sarcastic.

After the break we were back in the ring where Tensai and his Japanese Lover Sakamoto were standing awkwardly. It appeared as if though they’d waited an entire ad break for something. Turns out, it was for Tensai to beat up his lover. It was like Brokeback but breathy-ier and just plain weird. Obviously, this was an attempt to make Tensai seem domineering but it just came across as two angry lesbians having a fall out.

Backstage once more to R Truth and Matt Striker. Truth was basically sounding off about Big Show saying that he’s going to lose against Cena. This didn’t go down so well with Big Show, who knocked Truth out with the WMD. I must admit, I’m not keen on the Big Show angle but the WMD is a bad ass move.

A rare mixed tag match was next with Santino Morella teaming with Layla to face the team of Beth Phoenix and Alberto Del Rio’s personal ring announcer… Ricardo Rodriguez. The match was actually pretty fun and it seemed to be the Divas wrestling properly and the two men joking outside. The joking was actually quite fun and Ricardo running into the ring post was a personal highlight. However, Beth annihilated Layla with the GlamSlam to pick up the win. Afterwards, Santino and Ricardo tussled which led to Santino angrily tearing open Ricardo’s shirt. However, things got super homo as it was revealed that Ricardo was wearing a Justin Bieber t-shirt underneath. Brilliant.

Backstage, David Otunga began complimenting Vince on his physique and suggested that, if J-Lau were to be fired, he’d be the perfect replacement. This didn’t go down well with Vince who announced that he hates lawyers. An angry Kofi stormed in, wanting Big Show’s blood for beating up his partner. J-Lau intervened announcing Kofi as Show’s opponent in a warm-up cage match.

Daniel Bryan then made his way to the ring. He said that he was the obvious winner because he wasn’t being distracted like Punk and Kane were. The reason for the distraction? AJ. Bryan said that AJ may still love him but he feels nothing for her. He also made a great joke that 2nd base for Kane is someone not throwing up when they look at him. He then made the proclamation that “one you’ve gone Bryan, there’s no point in tryin’. He ACTUALLY said that. I actually used to have a saying like that myself “One sexy night with me, you’ve definitely got an STD”.

Punk then interrupted saying that Bryan was delusional and questioned how AJ could love anybody who had a “goatface”. Kane then came out to reel off a strange CV which included electrocuting Shane McMahon’s testicles. AJ then ran to the ring, wanting them to stop arguing. She told Kane that deep down she knew he had a heart, she told Bryan that she will always love him and she told Punk that well, HE’S JUST SOOOOO CUTE AND FRICKIN’ AWESOME!11. I must be fair to AJ, that’s how I react every time Dolph or Cody are on my screen. J-Lau’s face then appeared on the titantron where he announced that Kane and Bryan will team up against Punk and… AJ. Ooooh.

Then it was Fatal Fourway time. After the real wrestlers got rid of Khali who made things so slow I had to check my TV settings, it all got very awesome. Dolph was magnificent as always but there were some great near falls and submissions. The big scandal was Dolph screwing over Swagger to eliminate him. Obviously, the pull away from Team Vickie continues. It was then down to Christian and Dolph. And I am thrilled to say that DOLPH WON! HE ACTUAL WON! HE COULD BECOME CHAMPION! I’m not getting ahead of myself but I’ve bought a bottle of champagne just in case.

Backstage once more and Vince was cornered by Natalya who wanted him to bring back the Hart Family in some sort of reunion. Vince looked as interested in that proposition as I would be a lesbian three-way. Vince walked away but was interrupted by Naomi and Cameron aka the Funkadactyls. They wanted Vince to overturn J-Lau’s decision to remove Brodus from Raw and only have him on Smackdown. Vince, however, refused to overturn the decision. The two girls were upset but decided to instead get funky with Vince in what is one of my favourite moments ever. The entire thing was capped off by Zack Ryder whose shocked face was absolutely brilliantly timed and executed. The excitement on his face when Vince fist pumped the air yelling “woo woo woo” was just brilliant. It’s also the face I pull every time someone on WWE gets a wedgie.

Ryback then squashed two more thin, weedy wrestlers. I don’t understand how WWE thinks that makes him look tough. It’s like a jock beating up two nerds. It isn’t tough or cool, it’s weak and cowardly. I wish it’d stop as it’s getting boring. WWE has too much of this going on. We’ve got Sin Cara defeating everyone, we’ve got Big Show knocking everyone out, we’ve got Tensai throwing his weight around and Ryback doing the same. It’s getting boring, very quick and it isn’t how you build someone. Look at Ziggler. He loses most of his matches yet his in-ring skill and character are so good… he doesn’t need to win to be a winner.

Things went from bad to worse as, backstage, Vince and Hornswaggle mocked JR. The guy is a WWE Legend. He’s popular with fans. To mock his Bell’s Palsy isn’t fair and disrespectful. I don’t approve at all.

Cena then showed up to suggest that Vince should do the right thing and fire J-Lau. Vince told Cena to worry about himself and not get involved in the Kofi/Show cage match. Cena reassured Vince that he wouldn’t do so as Kofi had already asked him not to. Convenient. Otunga then turned up again and things got awesome as Vince, after declaring Otunga a sycophant, said he’d never respect anyone who could actually pucker up and kiss and guy’s ass. We then cut to an annoyed looking William Regal.

It was then time for the Big Show/Kofi Kingston cage match. It was exactly as expected and Kofi was utterly destroyed. But hey, we got to hear CAGE MUSIC! WOO!

Sin Cara then defeated Curt Hawkings in a “no shit Sherlock” conclusion.

Daniel Bryan and Vince then spoke backstage and Vince awkwardly mocked Bryan for not looking like a superstar and losing in 18 seconds. Bryan looked pissed and it was confusing really because we’re meant to hate Bryan but that made us hate Vince. But then I realised it was the WWE and just kind of glossed over it in my brain. Along with eating, it’s my coping mechanism.

Then came a nice surprise. The one-off return of Vader! Vader went up against Heath Slater and the man is looking GREAT. He moves better than Khali! It was a great match which he, of course, won to celebrate 1000 episodes of Raw.

Backstage once more and Punk warned AJ not to do anything crazy. Her nodding made it seemed like she understood but the look in her eyes said otherwise.

That match was up next and it was actually pretty good. Punk tried his best to ensure AJ wasn’t tagged in but Punk was shoved into her and the referee registered the tag. The crowd waited with baited breath to see what Kane would do to her but well, she jumped on him, wrapped her legs around his waist and kissed him. That’s right. She made out with him. Kane immediately tagged himself out and left the ring to allow Punk to get tagged in and pin Bryan for the win.

Then it was the big decision; would Vince fire J-Lau. I began to contemplate a world without people power and a tear fell from my eye. J-Lau came out and tried to defend himself but it was clear Vince was gearing himself up for a firing. It looked as if it was about to happen until Big Show made his way to the ring. Show tried to defend J-Lau but this was all interrupted by John Cena.

Cena didn’t seem to care so much for the HR nightmare in the ring but instead told Show that he’d made a grave mistake. See, Show has been blaming everyone for his downfalls so if he loses to Cena, he’s only got himself to blame. And, he’ll have to work the rest of his contract knowing that he’s a sell out. The heated words got to Big Show who went for Cena. Security Guards were scattered everywhere as the two men went to brawl. As Vince went to break it up he was met instead by the WMD, knocking him out.

This was on the anniversary of the great Limo explosion which we thought killed Vince but actually didn’t. But, if you looked at Cena’s face… the punch might’ve.

So that was the first 3 hour Raw and my hand hurts doing this recap. Expect a different format next week!

Until then,

XO-WB

WMDismal

Hey everyone! So we’re back to written recaps because, well, you guys just preferred them. Thanks to everyone who voted on the poll. And if you didn’t vote then I CURSE THEE. It was a night of prediction fails but what exactly went down at Over The Limit? Read on.

So the show opened with the People Power Battle Royal. It began on the WWE Youtube Pre-Show and spilled over to the main show. Eve set it up where the winner would face either Cody Rhodes or Santino Morella that night. It was your usual group of people lucky to get a paycheck including Khali whose knees you can actually hear creaking through the TV. The surprise entrant, bland Superstar Christian. I don’t like Christian, never have. I find him dull. It became clear immediately who would win.

Another entrant was the downtrodden Miz who has put up with a lot of shit recently. It came down to Miz and Christian but, predictably, Christian won. He hinted that he’d face Santino later that night.

Then we had Vickie Guerrero whose dress was a strange mix of extremely sex with availability for keyhole surgery. I wasn’t sure if she was trying to turn me on or if she was just prepped for Kidney surgery. Dolph Ziggler also made a bold fashion choice with a diamond studded dog collar. The annoying thing is, he even made that look not gay. He’s the Ridiculously Photogenic Guy of the WWE. Dolph in a dog collar also kinda turned me on as I’ve always wanted to make him my bitch. Dolph along with Jack Swagger went up against the team of Kofi Kingston and R-Truth. I’m going to start calling Kofi “Betty Ford” because he seems to constantly associate with drug addicts.

The match, for the titles, was your average fair and Kofi and Dolph did some fantastic work. The quality of the match, however, was overshadowed by the awful commentary. I get its Lawler’s job to be mean about Vickie but not throughout the entire damn match. It was annoying and, even more annoyingly, Dolph and Swagger lost. Not so annoyingly, Abraham Washington was nowhere to be found. THANK. GOD.

Backstage, powerbitch Eve and David Otunga chatted to Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks. They requested that the two go into the crowd and destroy any signs. I’ve often dreamed of a wrestler destroying something of mine… but I don’t mean a sign.

We then had Divas action and I’m starting to become one of those annoying people who say something is “definitely” happening when it’s not. You know it’s bad when dirtsheets seem better informed. I’m obsessed with Kharma and when she’ll return and I presumed it’d happen at OTL but it didn’t. What we did get, though, was fantastic. Beth and Layla worked great together and the match was outstanding. Also, it was long! They were given time and the two were evenly matched in terms of skill. Layla picked up the win to retain her Divas Title. Their match, however, was also ruined by bad commentary. Booker T said that Layla shouldn’t wrestle in a knee brace as it’s “impossible”. Erm, talk to Stone Cold, idiot.

Backstage, Randy Orton was being interviewed for reasons I can’t explain. I nodded off momentarily because even his voice is boring but perked up when Jericho entered the room. Jericho said he’d win because he’s the best in the world. This annoys me because his whole feud with Punk was over that moniker. He lost the right to use it. I get he’s a bad guy but it’s called character development.

Then it was Fatal Fourway time as Orton, Sheamus, Y2J and Alberto Del Rio all faced off. This wasn’t a match I was looking forward to but I must admit, I was pleasantly surprised. It was quite gripped and I didn’t know who was going to win. I hadn’t been this torn since I accidentally opened two different porn movies and had to decide which one to watch. I went with plumber who gets grease on his shorts. Thanks for asking.

It was melee in every sense of the word and it seemed that Orton was going to RKO his way to victory but Sheamus swooped in to get the win.

Backstage, Eve chatted to Cody Rhodes. I had to re-watch their chat 20 times because for the first 19 I kept yelling “BITCH, STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN” furiously at the screen. The two chatted about how brave J-Lau is and that Christian will win the US Title and give it legitimacy. Cody expressed concern that Christian was too rusty but Captain ChariZZZma overheard and decided he’d go after Cody’s Intercontinental Title instead. Douche.

Then The Miz came out for his second match of the night, this time against Brodus Clay. The Miz said he was sick of the WWE Universe fawning over the Funkasaurus because he’s so ridiculous. I agree with Miz and his beautiful bouncing boobs, but then thinks took a turn for the worse… Miz danced. I love Miz and I think he is awesome but this was embarrassing. Miz’s career has crashed so hard I’m thinking of renaming him Princess Diana. After copying the dance from Thriller, Miz went up against Brodus and lost. Again. To a human dinosaur. Seriously. Princess freakin’ Diana.

Curt and Tyler then decided to REKS some signs… I’m sorry. That won’t happen again. The confiscated several signs and decided to tear them up. It was a bit brutal but completely delicious and, it being Reks and Hawkins I half expected the signs to end up victorious but these two finally got a win.

Cody Rhodes then came out and said he was glad he was never bought up in North Carolina as they’re all pretty much stupid. I love this man. He then had to face ChriZZZtian for the IC Title. I must admit it was a good match but that was only because Cody made it look so good. Now yes, I wish to ride Cody’s penis like it was a fairground attraction but he’s also very talented and he deserves a better opponent. Sorry, Peeps. Cody, however, lost and Christian picked up the win. Grumble.

CM Punk then got interviewed and basically talked about how much D-Bry had changed. Then AJ went all shadow lurker. It was kinda awkward.

I’ve decided not to recap the Punk v Bryan match and I implore you to watch it for yourselves. It was many, many shades of awesome but I did wish it’d gone on a little longer. The two are very talented and I am very happy to see that it looks like this feud will continue. I do think WWE missed a trick with this one because they should’ve somehow included AJ. They hinted at it enough but, story is story and we’ll see if that comes back around.

Backstage once more to a grinning Teddy Long. Teddy said that he has no desires on becoming GM but he believes that Eve and Otunga might end up running WWE should J-Lau have lost. I would be SO up for that.

Then WWE forgot this was a PPV and not an episode of NXT and offered us Camacho vs Rybeck. The crowd decided to show their support for Skip Sheffield’s new gimmick by chanting “Goldberg”. I do love the WWE Universe. I really do.

Then it was time for the big one. J-Lau vs John Cena. J-Lau was wearing an outfit for cycling but he still looked good. Many fans has argued that this was a ridiculous match but it was supposed to be. Cena believed that there could be no outside interference and you must admit, the entire think was VERY funny. The two of them sat, J-Lau slumped in the commentary booth pretending to be Booker T. It was genius. Kudos to J-Lau.

Then things took a turn for the sucky. J-Lau tried to run away but then was dragged back by Big Show. Cena went for the AA but Big Show hit the WMD and J-Lau won. It was too predictable, so predictable I didn’t even predict it as I thought there’d be a swerve. I was wrong and instead we’re left with an awful few weeks of mean Big Show. It really sucks, WWE. Cena is your top guy and you’re sticking him with Lesnar and Show? Despicable.

So that was Over The Limit. I thought it was mostly really good.

What did you think?

Until next time,

XO-WB

Bitch Broadcast 4

Hey everyone!

Here’s Episode 4 of The Bitch Broadcast.

I’d really like to know if you prefer these to text recaps so please take a second to vote on the poll just on your left.

Enjoy,

XO-WB

To download just right click this link and save target as.

Bitch Broadcast 3

Hey everyone!

Sorry for the lack of update but I was being lazy. Meh, what you gonna do?

The 3rd Bitch Broadcast is up and ready for you.

Just click play to listen or just right click this link and save target as.

Marvellous,

XO-WB

Bitch Broadcast 2

Hey everyone,

Well coming off a great Extreme Rules we go right into Raw tonight.

So I figured I’d post the 2nd Bitch Broadcast.

My apologies for its lateness, btw. Also, this was recorded last week so there aren’t any Extreme Rules spoilers in there!

Enjoy.

XO-WB

You can also download it by right-clicking this link and clicking save target as!