Twas the night of Wrestlemania
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even Shea-mouse
The snacks were laid out in the fridge with care
In hopes that the Big Show wouldn’t be there
The beers were nestled all snug in their place
Sky Box Office was booked with a smile on my face
Damien Sandow stood praying for a Wrestlemania push
Dolph Ziggler was oiling from his neck to his tush
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
Many superstars were brawling, looking for dreams to shatter
Away to the window I flew like a flash
To enter the ring and try to win the Memorial Match
The glare of my TV on leather sofa that’s actually faux
Gave the lustre of moonlight to the laminate flooring below
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear
But Paul Heyman announcing Brock Lesnar was here
With a beefy presence, and a neck so thick
Brock flexed his biceps and let Heyman do all of his schtick
More rapid than eagles his opponent soon came
And he sounded the gong and roared Lesnars’ name
“Rest In Peace” he warned to that calculating man
The problem is Brock just didn’t give damn
To the corner of the turnbuckle to the top of the tron
Wrestlemania was soon starting, the excitement had begun
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly
There was a boo from the crowd and a glint in an eye
This was The Authority, dressed to impressed
Ignoring the crowd’s chants of “Yes, Yes, Yes”
And then, in a twinkling, came word from backstage
The lights went dark from locker room to stage
The Wyatts appeared so gloomy and strange
Soon then came John Cena screaming with rage
A goat mask to hand, he had one demand
That The Wyatts pay for their actions that were so underhand
The Show of Shows is all about glamour
But as I went to sit down I heard such a clamour
His thighs how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
And I counted an 8 pack adorned on his belly
His droll little mouth was drawn like a bow
As he told me he’d soon hit an RKO
Batista his opponent didn’t care for him at all
But I was soon to discover who’d really stand tall
Then I saw a man with a broad face and dead eyes
Who warned of a threat for both of those guys
A Triple Threat will be coming, he smiled to say
But The Shield soon tore Corporate Kane away
Randy sighed deep and went off in a sulk
But in the background there was laughter from the legend Hulk
I spoke not a word as the music soon played
The games were over, the WWE logo displayed
Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler and JBL too
Welcomed us to Wrestlemania with a how-do-you-do
The fireworks exploded and the excitement rose
I felt a buzz from my head right down to my toes
As Jerry Lawler beamed and roared, getting zanier and zanier
“Welcome ladies and gentlemen”… “To WRESTLEMANIA!”
Wrestlebitch.com 