Twas the night of Wrestlemania
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even Stardust
The snacks were laid out in the fridge with care
In hopes that the Big Show wouldn’t be there
The beers were nestled all snug in their place
The Network buffered quickly with a smile on my face
Ladder Match contenders stood praying for a push
Dolph Ziggler was oiling from his neck to his tush
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
Many superstars were brawling, looking for dreams to shatter
Away to the window I flew like a flash
To enter the ring and try to win the Andre The Giant Match
The glare of my TV on leather sofa that’s actually faux
Gave the lustre of moonlight to the laminate flooring below
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear
But Paul Heyman announcing Brock Lesnar was here
With a beefy presence, and a neck so thick
Brock flexed his biceps and let Heyman do all of his schtick
More rapid than eagles his opponent soon came
And he bounced through the crowd and roared Lesnars’ name
“Believe that” Roman warned to this calculating man
The problem is Brock just didn’t give damn
To the corner of the turnbuckle to the top of the tron
Wrestlemania was soon starting, the excitement had begun
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly
There was a boo from the crowd and a glint in an eye
Triple H makes his way to prove he’s the King
And defeat the throne’s threat, the enigmatic Sting
And then, in a twinkling, came word from backstage
Russian music played out and the crowd went to a rage
Rusev appeared with Lana in tow
Soon then came John Cena screaming “let’s go”
A lightning bolt hit and Undertaker appeared
Bray Wyatt’s demands was finally adhered
The Show of Shows is all about glamour
But as I went to sit down I heard such a clamour
His thighs how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
And I counted an 8 pack adorned on his belly
His droll little mouth was drawn like a bow
As he told me he’d soon hit an RKO
Seth Rollins his opponent didn’t care for him at all
But I was soon to discover who’d really stand tall
With J&J security at his side helping him win
Like a Diva’s waist, his chances are thin
Revenge is coming, she smiled to say
But that wouldn’t be too easy for crazy AJ
Her friendship with Paige is what she needed to tackle
But The Bellas just watched as they let out a cackle
I spoke not a word as the music soon played
The games were over, the WWE logo displayed
Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler and JBL too
Welcomed us to Wrestlemania with a how-do-you-do
The fireworks exploded and the excitement rose
I felt a buzz from my head right down to my toes
As Jerry Lawler beamed and roared, getting zanier and zanier
“Welcome ladies and gentlemen”… “To WRESTLEMANIA!”
Wrestlebitch.com 