I Will Survive…or…Series…

Nov18

So tonight, Survivor Series is finally upon us. But who will win what and how? It’s time for my monthly how-wrong-can-I-be predictions!

Pre Show: 3MB v Justin Gabriel & Tyson Kidd

First of all, WWE.com is calling the Gabriel/Kidd pairing “International Airstrike”. Considering the current situation in the Middle East, WWE are probably best steering away from that little moniker. So who might win? Well, firstly it depends on which two men from 3MB will wrestle. Either way, I’m going to take a punt and predict that Gabriel and Kidd might just clinch it.

Prediction: Justin Gabriel & Tyson Kidd

Eve vs Kaitlyn (Divas Championship)

This one is interesting as Kaitlyn was meant to get a shot a few months back and was attacked by a mysterious woman in a blonde wig. Kaitlyn assumed that the culprit was Eve. That all seems logical but the story was never truly resolved. Also, with Kelly Kelly gone, WWE are looking at Eve as their face of the WWE on the Divas side of things. After her win on Stars Earn Stripes, I have a feeling that Eve is going to turn face sometime soon.

So, my prediction? I think that Layla will turn on her friend Kaitlyn and ruin the match for her allowing Eve to retain.

Prediction: Eve

Antonio Cessaro v R Truth (US Title)

I must admit, I don’t care for either men in this contest and their feud has bored me rather so I’m going to take a quick guess and say that R Truth becomes the new champion.

Prediction: R Truth

Team Foley v Team Ziggler

The big question in this match is who will replace Cody Rhodes. For those who don’t know, my future husband Cody was victim to a nasty bump when a flip from Kane went awry causing him to hurt his shoulder and suffer a concussion. WWE are yet to name a replacement for Cody and are still advertising him as participating on their official website. Many names have been passed around for who might just replace Cody…

Lord Tensai: this is a possibility. He’s a heel, he’s a beast and he’s someone nobody really cares about. Throw him in, throw him out with no consequence to story or the match.
Likelihood: 8/10

Ted DiBiase Jr: this could be a great chance for Ted to finally get back onto main TV and replacing his former on-screen partner would be fitting but it’d mean having to help out the bad guys!
Likelihood: 6/10

Fandango: the man we’ve all seen trailed on Raw. Originally named Fandangoo, Johnny Curtis’ new gimmick may just may an early debut. It’d be a perfect set up allowing Fandango to utter his catchphrase “mind if I cut in?” and enter the match. However, I’m sure WWE have plans for when they wanted him to debut and may not be up for changing it so late in the game.
Likelihood: 5/10

Jack Swagger: Swags recently took an on-screen break from WWE and hasn’t been seen/heard from recently. It’d be the perfect opportunity to return to the big leagues.
Likelihood: 4/10

Brad Maddox: After failing to win his contract in a match against Ryback on Raw, Brad Maddox might still try to cling to hope. He’s been lighting up Twitter with claims that he’s only second to CM Punk when it comes to length of time in-ring with Ryback and has recently declared himself “2^nd best in the world”. Could Maddox win over Ziggler and get a place on the team? It’s an outside possibility that I’m more than willing to entertain!
Likelihood: 3/10

Obviously, WWE may announce the replacement before the PPV and make me look like a complete douchenozzle in the process.

In terms of the actual match, it’s a tough one to call and I believe it could go either way. But there’s obviously a story issue here. Foley’s beef was with Punk and Ziggler was shoe-horned into captaincy with very little interaction with Foley. However, both men have previously clashed so it’s not completely out of the realm of believability. It may, however, be quite fitting that Ziggler is filling Punk’s spot. Maybe Dolph will do it again…

My prediction is that Team Foley will pick up the win.

Prediction: Team Foley

Big Show v Sheamus (World Heavyweight Championship)

Throwing William Regal into the mix was certainly interesting and one has to wonder if that strand has concluded or not. Or could Regal play a part in the match? I doubt it but that’d be cool, right?

Big Show hasn’t held the title very long and Sheamus has just come off a mammoth run. I don’t think there would be much point in Sheamus winning the title back so soon but, it is WWE so who knows? I’m going to err on the side of caution and predict that Show retains… but could there be a surprise around the corner. Read on…

Prediction: Big Show

CM Punk v Ryback v John Cena (WWE Title)

So, I alluded to it earlier. I think that there will be an interesting Survivor Series twist here. But what could it be? Hear me out.

Dolph and Cena have been feuding for a long time now and many people have wondered if it’s all just pointless. But what if it isn’t? What if it’s leading to the start of a whole new change in WWE.

It’s been no secret that the roster divide is now over so therefore the need for two champions is over. With rumours of a huge roster cull floating around the Internet, I wonder if it’s actually got good grounds. Dolph Ziggler is clearly the future of WWE. He’s the leader of the pack when it comes to future stars and WWE Fans have been itching for Ziggler to get a big push. Cena is WWE’s present. He’s at the top of the ladder so wouldn’t it be fitting for the present and the future to collide?

I believe that Dolph Ziggler will cash in his Money In The Bank contract to win the World Heavyweight Championship at Survivor Series. I then think John Cena will win the WWE Title. They will continue to feud on Raw with Ziggler having eyes on the title. This leads the way, perhaps via Vickie Guerrero, for a unification of the titles. Winner takes all. The return of an undisputed champion who will defend their belt on both brands.

It’s a long shot but I think it’d be awesome.

Prediction: John Cena.

Let me know your thoughts and predictions. Have I gone too far? Am I on to something? Let me know!

Time To Get Survivor Serious

Nov11

This week’s Raw was coming from my home country of the UK and boy what a show! The Birmingham crowd were on fire, butts were bubblier than ever and I have to say, it’s been one of the strongest UK editions of the show I’ve seen in a while. But what went down? Read on, my loves!

Raw opened up with an angry Miz telling Paul Heyman that CM Punk is a coward. Heyman told Miz that he needed to get onboard along with the rest of the team. Miz, however, wasn’t having any of it and abruptly quit Team Punk.

The first match of the night was 6-man tag action with Rey Mysterio, Sin Cara and R Truth teaming up against The Prime Time Players and Antonio Cessaro. Admittedly, it was more of a 4 against 3 match because I’m pretty sure Rey’s stomach counts for a 4^th person. Those black latex shirts aren’t fooling anyone, Rey.

It was a so-so match with your usual fair which resulted in R Truth picking up the win.

Then it was time for Vickie Guerrero to have her say. For those who have been hiding in a hole (I know a few holes I wouldn’t mind hiding in), Vickie is currently the Raw Managing Supervisor which is WWE’s way of trying to get around the fact the GM role never stays filled for long. Vickie believes that AJ Lee and John Cena were having an affair whilst AJ was General Manager. Now, I don’t understand the issue here because both AJ and John are unmarried and they can do what and whoever they want. Vickie, however, had more footage.

Cena came to the ring to see exactly what the incriminating evidence was and this time it was juicier. It involved towels and sneaking around. It was like the entire segment was produced by Jerry Sandusky. Cena, however, maintained his plea of innocence saying that all the evidence was circumstantial. Vickie disagreed and wanted to hear AJ’s side of the story. AJ, however, wasn’t willing to come to the ring as she’d want to punch Vickie in the face and well, if she does that then she’s fired and said she wouldn’t be able to do what she loves to do. Dolph Ziggler then turned up and told AJ we all know what she loves to do. Ziggler is so Mean Girls. I love it. With that Cena darted out the ring and Vickie screeched with joy.

Backstage, Paul Heyman tried to convince Wade Barrett to join Team Punk at Survivor Series. Whilst initially hesitant, Barrett eventually agreed.

The next match was Daniel Bryan v Cody Rhodes. The match was actually pretty good but a distraction from Kane and Damien Sandow allowed Cody to pick up the win. Afterwards, Cody took to the mic to lisp his way through some gloating. He also said that his partner Damien Sandow could easily beat Kane and with that we had an impromptu Kane v Damien Sandow match!

Kane and Sandow really went at it but Bryan and Rhodes were proving to be distracting. After Cody ran into the ring to avoid a Daniel Bryan beatdown, the referee expelled both of them from ringside. This allowed Kane to hit Sandow with a chokeslam for the win.

It was then time for Brad Maddox to explain himself. I strongly believed he should’ve come out butt naked and shook that cute little tush and all would be forgiven. Alas, it wasn’t to be but Maddox’s ample glutes were well displayed in the trousers he was wearing. Anyway, back to the action as Maddox explained his reasons for interfering in the Punk v Ryback WWE Championship Match. Maddox said that he’d be in FCW for a long time and was told that he wouldn’t make it. He believes it’s because he’s not tall or fast enough. That he doesn’t fit in. It was your usual fodder but the guy looked totally cute the entire time so, take a look.

After the speech, Mr McMahon came out and offered Maddox a contract if he’s able to beat Ryback on next week’s Raw.

Once Maddox had left the ring, Mr McMahon bought out Vickie Guerrero. He said that it seemed odd to not have Punk defend his title at Survivor Series. After trying to get Dolph the gig, Vickie eventually gave in and announced Ryback as the opponent. But Mr McMahon didn’t want it to end there, he said it should be a triple threat match but who should the opponent be? Ah yes, John Cena. Vickie reluctantly agreed and the match was made. And that’s how WWE works folks. Other people make decisions and then Vince steps in and forces them to change their mind.

Sheamus took on The Miz in the next match and I was pleasantly surprised. First of all, The Big Show was on commentary and I have to say he was a delight. His anger at Michael Cole was brilliant. And the match? It was great! The Miz and Sheamus really pulled out the stops and it was a genuine nail biter. Also, Miz wore blue. Bitch looks good in blue.

Backstage, Dolph Ziggler was pacing outside Mr McMahon’s office. Vickie exited and had great news, now that Punk was no longer team captain, Dolph will take the helm. So it’ll now be Team Foley v Team Ziggler. CM Punk, however, was not best pleased and expressed his displeasure to Vickie. She then announced that Ziggler and Punk would team up to face Ryback and Cena!

Then it looked like we were getting a promo for a new diva as Sex & The City-esque music played and bright colours flashed. Turns out it’s for a new Superstar by the name of Fandangoo. Rumour has it Fandangoo will be Johnny Curtis’ new gimmick. However, it seems like WWE had a few spelling issues because on Smackdown, they dropped one of the ‘O’s. Homo they didn’t.

Now, usually when WWE does UK shows there’s some sort of UK segment. Someone drinking tea or someone dressed as The Queen. But no. None of that. The most British thing was Sheamus and William Regal backstage deciding to go for a pint. Tip of me ‘at for that guv’nor.

Diva action was up next as Layla and Kaitlyn teamed up against Eve and Aksana. I have to say that these women (let’s be honest, minus Aksana) are very good in the ring. Eve’s clearly sprucing up her moves and Layla’s new high-risk move set works like a dream. It even helped she and Kaitlyn pick up the win.

Backstage once more where Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez discussed the fact that ADR wasn’t team captain. Then he bumped into Rosa Mendes. The two seemed to have chemistry so watch out for a storyline there.

ADR’s opponent for the night would be Kofi Kingston. Kingston was seemingly set to lose as ADR put on a beat down. However, Randy Orton’s music hit and caused a distraction which allowed Kofi to roll ADR up for the win. After the match, ADR ran into an RKO by Orton. Orton’s face, however, seems to have been ran into by too much botox. His face is so puffed up. Maybe he had an allergic reaction to some fake tan. Or y’know. Pills again.

More tag action in the next match which was Primo and Epico Fail vs Zack Ryder and Santino. Not worth discussing really. Ryder and Santino won.

Wade Barrett then had a match against Brodus Clay. A weird pairing but they had to give Barrett a match since he was on home turf. The crowd were freakin’ electric as they watched Barrett pick up the inevitable win.

3 man band member Heath Slater then went up against one of the Usos. I can’t even. This three hour thing is really starting to not work out, you guys.

Then it was main event time and boy was it a doozy. Dolph and Punk really lay into Cena for the duration of the match and Dolph hitting elbow drop after elbow drop was particularly brutal. Ryback, meanwhile, was foaming at the mouth to be let into the match up. He soon got his way and cleared house and picked up the win.