This week we’ve got some vintage wedgie from when Randy Orton used to be hot!
XO-WB
Monthly Archives: August 2011
I’m Homo For JoMo
The very best RAW talent.
Enjoy.
XO-WB
Nash To See You, To See You Nash
So my RAW recap skips ahead a week after Summerslam with many questions still unanswered. Who sent the text to Nash to stick the winner? Who will face Del Rio at Night Of Champions? And why won’t Steph answer my calls?
The show kicked off with Del Rio who came to no doubt give a smug promo about how brilliant he is but he was soon stopped in his tracks by John Cena who said that Del Rio now had a huge target on his back and that, well, he was going to be the one taking aim. Cena said he was sick of making average look awesome and that Punk is the only one he wants to wrestle. Aww, it’s kinda sweet, right? Anyways, Punk then comes out and says that he doesn’t have an issue with Del Rio, he just doesn’t like the conspiracy of how Del Rio cashed in. He then said he’s like to cash in his rematch clause. Cena, however, interrupts and says he’s getting HIS rematch clause. It was then left to HHH who came out and reminded these guys that a rematch clause isn’t like a Money In The Bank Contract and you can’t just cash it in. He then says Punk will go head to head with Cena to determine the No1 Contendership.
The first match was Del Rio v JoMo
And this abs-covered jobber arrived in slo-mo
The match was actually not that bad
It’s the first time I’ve wanted to raise JoMo’s hand
But Del Rio fought on is this epic bought
We had near falls and a potential knock out
But when it came to the crunch there was just one winner
And that man was the guy that’s holding the Spinner
Del Rio gained the win and attack JoMo after
Seems like JoMo has no happy ever after
Del Rio slumped off with a smile on his face
Whilst JoMo limped away, his career a disgrace.
We then had a Divas match where they had a TNA-Style Vox Pop of Natalya and Beth Phoenix basically saying that Eve and Kelly are wrong about what they want but they’re not going to tell them anyway. Um, OK? Anyway, Eve was facing Nikki Bella and Eve won. The Divas Of Destruction then took to the ramp and sarcastically applauded both Eve and Kelly. Ooo, a sarcastic applause. Scary.
Backstage, Kevin Nash arrived.
The next match was A-Ry v Jack Swagger
Who had a friend in the form of a cougar
Vickie Guerrero was giving a trial run
To see if she’d be his new companion
Swagger had told Vickie to extend her client base
But the whole situation left Dolph with egg on his face
He came to the ring to make Vickie come back
But he accidentally sent her to the floor with a whack
A distracted Swagger was defeated by Riley
Dolph and Vickie bailed and Swagger wasn’t so smiley
But who will Vickie choose we can only guess
But either way, Swagger is not impressed.
Next we had Kevin Nash come talk to HHH. HHH told Nash that he couldn’t allow him to attack Punk as he isn’t a WWE Superstar. Nash said that he was simply being a man and wouldn’t allow Punk to run his mouth. Punk then made an appearance saying that he wanted to get to the bottom of the text saga saying he thinks it was Steph (after a long-winded game of Cluedo). He then said that he was sick of talking and went to attack Nash, but HHH intervened. An irate Punk then asked HHH why he was so against him being champion. He then called Steph “bean-headed” which lead to HHH to warn Punk he was still the same Cerebral Assassin. Punk then continued saying that HHH’s balls were in Steph’s handbag (watch it, it’ll make sense) to which Nash punched Punk and then he and HHH ran off.
Backstage, HHH asked Nash to leave as he can’t allow Nash to get physical to which Nash says HHH has changed.
The Tag Team division is hotting up as Kofi Kingston & Evan Bourne beat New Nexus for the Tag Titles.
We then head backstage again where an out of breath John Laurinaitis told HHH that Nash has been in a car accident and was in hospital. Cue a billion tweets about Matt Hardy wearing a Nash mask. OK, they were funny. Matt Hardy is a ridiculous human being.
Santino Morella then took to the stage
But he was taken down by Miz and Truth who were in a rage
They went to the ring to explain themselves
They said that the conspiracy that surrounds them can go to hell
They’re both convinced that they’re not being used correctly
Truth believe it’s all due to a C-O-N-Spiracy
Miz looked confused to still tagged along
As he said the way he’s booked is basically wrong
He wants more matches and title shots
And Truth said that soon everyone gon get get
They then said they’d take any opportunity that comes up
Then made up a rap and told the fans that they suck.
The final match of the night was Punk/Cena and Alberto Del Rio was at ringside. But next to him was John Laurinaitis who I am sure was just there to ensure nothing went awry? Right? WRONG! As Punk looked set to hit the GTS for the win, Nash appeared to create a distraction. Cena hit the AA for the win and the Del Rio beat up Cena.
The entire night ended in chaos but why did John Laurinaitis lie? Or did he?
XO-WB
SlutterSlam
Well here it is, my big sexy (not Kevin Nash) Summerslam gallery.
Enjoy!
XO-WB
SummerSham
Hello and a big welcome back to the blog. I’ve had time off to refresh my bitchy batteries and I sure hope you’ve been following my Tumblr for the odd bits and pieces I’ve fed through. So, Summerslam was a great PPV with a lot of questions thrown out… but what exactly happened? If you’ve been stuck in a hole (or been hit by Matt Hardy’s car) then here’s what went down at the ‘Slam.
We began, as always, with the national anthem. Interestingly enough, WWE decided that they didn’t need to have someone sing the words because a guitar screeching out notes was like, way better than that. Um… no. For a company that cares so much about patriotism they sure as hell dropped the red, white and blue ball here. Also, you’re not helping WWE fan reputation by having some guy from a band called Tool.
After the anthem out came Miz
Who was unhappy with this unbooking Biz
He wanted a match there and then
And R Truth said he’d support his friend
The match was set to be three on three
Miz, Truth & Del Rio looked for victory
The other team were your usual fare
With Kingston & Mysterio and Jo-Mo thrown in there
The match was good with some fantastic bits
But it was to be a disappointment to all the Mizfits
Mysterio managed to pick up the victory
But his smugness was soon lost, thanks to his knee!
We then headed backstage to John Laurinaitis who was with CM Punk. John wasn’t happy that Punk has disrespected him so much and demanded that he apologised. Punk, sarcastically, apologised and then Laurinaitis left. Punk then turned around to discover St Stephanie of McMahon standing in front of him. I’m not going to lie, I’m a total Steph McFahon so I will not say a bad word about her and I mean, come on, those bubbies are enough to make you smile. Steph wished Punk luck and then extended her hand to which Punk replied “no thanks, I know where that’s been”. I love Steph and all but that was HIGHlarious.
Sheamus v Mark Henry was the next big bout
These two men have a lot of aggression to get out
Two huge giants were set to collide
But then the big fight went to the outside
It was a battle of the biggest as they went head to head
Sheamus wanted victory but Henry had a different plan instead
He scooped up Sheamus like a fat chick with Ice Cream
And did something crazy that made the fans scream
With a look on his face that couldn’t be scarier
Henry through Sheamus right through the barrier
A fan observing was shocked to the core
As the ref count Sheamus out as he lay on the floor
The match was over and Henry won
But this was a feud that certainly ain’t done.
Backstage was Christian who said he had a back-up plan. Yadda, yadda. We then had a God awful singing segment with Cee Lo Green. You see, I love Music and I love Wrestling. I love Cee Lo and I love Divas. You know what I don’t love, any of those together. Cee Lo sang some of his hits whilst the Divas awkwardly danced around him and oh my… those Divas cannot dance. Alicia Fox was dressed as some sort of sailor and Rosa Mendes looked like she had Down’s Syndrome. Total trainwreck.
The Divas were up next in a huge bout
Beth Phoenix had plans to knock Kelly Kelly out
With the Divas title up for grabs
Kelly Kelly pulled some great moves out of the bag
She flipped and flopped and worked really hard
It’s the first time she’s sweat without getting a sore arm
I guess she’s finally fucking a guy who can give her tips
And I don’t mean how to jiggle her tits
She gained the win over the Glamazon
The war continues, but this battle was won.
We then had more backstage action with Stephanie coming out of John Cena’s dressing room. We also saw R Truth with Jimmy Hart where Truth thought Jimmy may be Little Jimmy. It was great.
The next big bout was between Barrett and Bryan
And Wade looked like he wasn’t even tryin’
Bryan did his best but the match was one-sided
Barrett gained the win that was not indecisive
I like Daniel Bryan and I wish him the best
But let’s hope this was a one-off or his WWE career will be a mess.
We then had Randy Orton v Christian. It was actually a good match considering we’ve seen these two go at it a billion times before. I sure hope we don’t see another repeat, but with WWE you literally never know. Before the match, though, they had a nice bit with Edge who pretty much said Christian didn’t deserve to be champion because of the way he won it. Um, I’m pretty sure Edge’s wins haven’t always been completely legit. Either way, Orton picked up the win to become the new World Heavyweight Champion.
The final match was Punk v Cena
Everyone was fired up and the crowd couldn’t have been keener
The match was great as Triple H was fair
He even made sure that the win would be clear
His only physical involvement was rolling them back in
But it was down to Punk to gain the win
He won fair and square with no complaints
And he took to the turnbuckle to celebrate
When suddenly, to my surprise
Kevin Nash appeared on the other side
A power bomb was struck and Punk was out
And that’s when I heard Alberto Del Rio shout
He cashed in his contract for a shot at the belt
And Punk was a mess and couldn’t be helped
With an easy battle, ADR got the win
But did he win it alone or did someone help him?
An interesting ending and, although I can’t stand ADR, it’ll be fun to see where this goes.
Until next time,
XO-WB
Sunday Bloody Sunday
After a nice long rest, I will be returning to this very blog on Sunday to share with you my WWE thoughts and pictures.
So, on Sunday you’ll get
– Summerslam Recap
– Summerslam Sexy Summer Image Gallery
– RAW Recap
– RAW Gallery
So come back on Sunday throughout the day.
XO-WB
Time Off
Hey everyone,
Sorry for the lack of posts on here. I won’t be reviewing this week’s RAW other than to show you this:
A VERY funny segment and interesting. I reckon Stephanie is in on it all. Who knows?
I’m busy enjoying what’s left of my Summer before returning to University so I’ll review Summerslam (and post a massive sexual gallery) when I can.
Until then, why not follow me on Tumblr? I post random pics and clips on there.
For now,
XO-WB
Wednesday Wedgie #10
The 10th edition of the Wednesday Wedgie goes to Randy Orton whose trunks rode up his butt during Summerslam. RKOhhhhh yeah.
XO-WB
Summer Slam It In Me
So tonight sees the Summer version of Wrestlemania, Summerslam. It’s always been an important show and it’s going to be a big one again with CM Punk and Cena facing off and the suspect Triple H is officiating. So, what of that match and the others? Here are my predictions.
Kelly Kelly v Beth Phoenix (Diva’s Championship)
Beth’s entire demeanour has changed as she has teamed up with Natalya to form the Divas Of Doom. They’re tired of the Barbie doll world. Where I am happy Beth is finally getting a push its clear creative waited a few months and just crossed out Kharma’s name off the script. Either way, I think that the win will go to Beth Phoenix with Eve and Natalya getting involved in the mix.
Bitch’s Prediction: Beth wins.
Daniel Bryan v Wade Barrett
Bryan is coming into Summerslam with a score to settle as Wade Barrett attacked him on Smackdown. Barrett is looking to step out of the shadows of Nexus and Corre and prove he is a strong singles competitor. Daniel Bryan, however, is the Money In The Bank holder. With WWE it tends to be that the bigger guy wins and I don’t think tonight will be any different.
Bitch’s Prediction: Wade Barrett wins.
Sheamus v Mark Henry
Two giants going head to head and this is one match that I really cannot call. Mark Henry has had great success in taking down the likes of Big Show, Kane and Kozlov but its clear Sheamus troubles him. It’s interesting that there has been no stipulation added to this match especially considering Henry’s penchant for throwing people through tables. With DQ still in play, I think Henry will get himself DQ’d and go on the attack only for Sheamus to take control as the feud rolls on.
Bitch’s Prediction: Sheamus wins via DQ.
Christian v Randy Orton (No Holds Barred, WHC title)
This has been going on far too long and it’s becoming boring. No matter what happens tonight, please God let this be the end. With HHH as COO and Teddy Long presumably heading for the exit due to bonking Aksana, it’s time this madness finished. That’s why I think the match can only end one way.
Bitch’s Prediction: Randy Orton wins.
John Cena v CM Punk (WWE Title w/ HHH as Special Guest Ref)
The match that is making the WWE Universe breath the most sighs on worry is this one. With HHH’s role as COO has come a suspicion that he isn’t all that he seems. HHH says he wants to call this one down the line but in the world of WWE, it’d make no sense. I’m a HHH fan but history dictates that he’ll probably be the one we’re made to focus on as Summerslam comes to a close.
But, who will he help? It’s rumoured that Cena will take a heel turn and team with HHH to screw Punk over, there’s rumours of the same for Punk. I personally think that Cena will turn heel tonight and HHH will help him pick up the win.
Bitch’s Prediction: John Cena wins.
Other Predictions
– Cody Rhodes will face Big Zeke for the IC Title
– McGillicunty & Otunga will defend also
– HHH will open the show
– There will be a god awful segment involving Keystone Light’s Keith Stone, the Divas and Swimwear
Either way enjoy the show. I want to hear your predictions. You can leave a comment, tweet me or ask me via Tumblr.
XO –WB
Mizturbation Part 2
The sexiest from RAW with The Miz featuring HEAVILY.
XO-WB
Wrestlebitch.com 