Survivor Series Goes Aw-Ry

Survivor Series was an interesting PPV with many twists and turns but what exactly went down? Well I’m glad you asked because I’ve only gone and done a bloody recap, so I have.

The show began with a bogus bonus elimination match. It was to be what I have dubbed Team Cara: Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio, Justin Gabriel, Tyson Kidd & Brodus Clay vs Team Albert: Lord Tensai, Prime Time Players, Primo & Epico. It was actually not a terrible match considering it was rather shoe-horned in and it’s nice to see that they’ve decided to build Tyson and Justin a little further. It did raise some worried over Brodus’ future as he was the only member of Team Cara to be eliminated.

I’m also worried about the Prime Time Player’s eyesight as their tights get uglier and brighter each week. It was a seemingly easy win for Team Cara.

Winner:  Team Cara
My Prediction: No prediction due to shoe-in match
Score: 0-0

Backstage we saw Kaitlyn heading to ring until someone in a bad Goldust wig attacked her from behind. Kaitlyn gained the upperhand this time and unveiled the culprit as Aksana. UM… didn’t we already know Aksana was the culprit? Anyways, Eve turned up and said she’d “hate if anything happened to Kaitlyn before the match” to which Kaitlyn pushed Eve over and said the same thing. OMG. RUDE. Eve was trying to be nice.

Then came the actual match itself and I have to say, it was also pretty good. It’s a shame WWE crowds are general douchenozzles and the commentary team didn’t help much either but both women pulled off a good match.  The beginning of the end for Kaitlyn began when Eve literally pulled the rug from underneath her. After hitting a neckbreaker, Eve picked up the win and also grabbed herself a little something extra.

Winner: Eve
My Prediction: Eve
Score: 1-0

Backstage once more but this time it was to the Team Foley locker room. All men were basically bickering as WWE tried to get across the “THEY HATE EACH OTHER, LIKE, LOTS” dynamic of the group. Mick tried to intervene and get the guys onside requesting they finger bang each other. However, Orton simply grunted and told Mick he hated him.

The next match was Antonio Cessaro v R Truth. I opted for Team Toilet Break and ignored most of this match. Two very dull men in what was no doubt a very dull match. Cessaro retained.

Winner: Antonio Cessaro
My Prediction: R Truth
Score: 1-1

Monday Night Raw then trickled into the Survivor Series fun with AJ Lee coming to the ring to make good on an earlier promise to reveal Vickie’s unsavoury antics. I and many others presumed they were going to finally reveal the hypocrisy of Vickie accusing AJ of getting too close to a superstar, *cough* Dolph Ziggler *cough*, but instead AJ went down the photoshop route of putting up fake images of Vickie in compromising positions. AJ missed a few tricks with it but it was kinda funny. Vickie was furious and AJ reminded her Vickie wasn’t allowed to hit her. Then, inexplicably, Tamina came to the ring to beat down AJ. M’kay…

Josh Matthews was then backstage interviewing Paul Heyman and questioned CM Punk’s ability to win the match. Heyman took offense, obvs, and launched into a beautiful diatribe about Punk’s achievements and how he’ll continue to achieve etc etc. It was beautiful but there’s only so much recapping of an interview you can do, y’know?

It was then time for Sheamus and Big Show to go head-to-head. I haven’t been uber keen on this whole feud but the two have had some interesting matches for sure. Sheamus had been all over WWE adverts played throughout the show and I was beginning to see them as some sort of clue. It looked like I was right as Sheamus managed to get the big man down but, as Sheamus went to hit the Brogue Kick, Big Show pulled the ref infront of him. Scott Armstrong went down like a sack of potatoes and other referees clambered to his side. The bell hadn’t yet been rung so when Big Show hit the WMD and pinned it looked like he’d win. A referee did the three count and everything. However, a different referee changed the decision to make it a Big Show DQ. Ooh, bitch please.

Sheamus then decided to put the beat down on Big Show with a steel chair, obviously symbolising that this thing will head into TLC in a chair match no doubt.

Winner: Sheamus via DQ
My Prediction: Big Show
Score: 1-2

Then it was Team Ziggler v Team Foley time. Many had been looking forward to a sexy reveal of Dolph’s new trunks that he’d previously promised on Twitter.

new gear for @wwe #SurvivorSeries sunday, thinking @britneyspears bodysuit from toxic vid meets al czervic

— Nic Nemeth (@NicTNemeth) November 15, 2012

However, it wasn’t to be but Dolph still looked good. Team Ziggler took the first hit after Damien Sandow got caught with a chokeslam when his plot to abandon his team failed. It looked to be going slowly downhill for Team Ziggler but they soon gained the upperhand and eventually it all came down to Randy Orton and Dolph himself. Orton set on a homoerotic beatdown (aren’t they always?) on Ziggler and it looked like he was going for the punt. I immediately began to cry “NOT THE FACE” but Orton’s plot was thwarted by a well-timed superkick. Ziggler pinned Orton for the win.

Winner: Team Ziggler
My Prediction: Team Foley
Score: 1-3

It was main event time as Ryback, Cena and Punk went head-to-head for the WWE Championship. I was nervous about the bought but my nerves melted when I realised how hot Cena looked in his new gear. Anyways, the three men tried their best to make it work with Cena and Punk even teaming up to put Ryback through the announce table.

It looked like the winner of the night would the Spanish Announce Table but, as Ryback got set to pick up the win, three men ran into the ring and beat Ryback and Cena down. They then put Ryback through the Spanish Announce Table.

These three men were the much-talked-about Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns. The Internet fanbase has gone crazy and I’m no doubt going to be seen as a moron for not knowing or caring who they are. I’m going to give this whole thing chance but this just seems to me to be like a new Nexus. I also reckon Brad Maddox will be part of it. Either way, the distraction allowed Punk to pin Cena to retain.

Winner: CM Punk
My Prediction: John Cena
Score: 1-4

Yet again my predictions failed but, oh well! It was an interesting PPV which opened the door for a few fun stories.

Until next time,

XO-TWB

A Feast For Your Survivor Ser-eyes

Yes, Survivor Series was indeed a good PPV.

But… it wasn’t just the wrestling action I was focusing on.

There was indeed some booty jigglin’ and penis wigglin’ and I’ve got it all.

Enjoy.

XO-TWB

Ryback To The Future

This week’s Raw was another interesting one as we head into Survivor Series. But with Brad Maddox’s potential contract on the line, would he be able to secure the $1 million deal? And what further evidence could Vickie have on AJ Lee and John Cena? Read on…

So Raw started as it did last week with a strange Dateline NBC-style voice over. This voice over acts a preview for the show coming up and well, it’s not needed. It just sounds dumb.

Anyways, first up was Randy Orton v Dolph Ziggler. This is a match I always look forward to because Randy has a habit for really grabbing on guys trunks and it’s super hot. The match wasn’t too bad and ended in a Dolph Ziggler win after Alberto Del Rio, flanked by Ricardo Rodriguez, distracted Orton. After the match, Ziggler, Del Rio and Rodriguez all descended on Orton and beat him down. Orton was then saved by Kofi Kingston.

Never missing the opportunity to make a tag match, Teddy Long came out in his Keenan Thompson “what’s up with that” suit and made a tag match. Ziggler and Del Rio v Orton and Kingston. It was a good tag match which ended in Del Rio picking up the win after a sick kick to Kingston after Rodriguez interrupted.

Afterwards, Dolph stuck around. Now glistening with sweat and baby oil like Edward Cullen in the light, Dolph was with Vickie Guerrero. Vickie is still chomping at the bit about the whole AJ/Cena affair and it’s all getting tiresome. I love Cena. I love AJ. I love Dolph and I love Vickie. You’d think I love this. I just don’t. Especially because it’s steeped in the irony of Vickie’s inappropriate cougar/cub relationship with Dolph.

A furious AJ came to the ring and said things needed to stop and that Vickie was throwing her “considerable weight” around. A fat joke? Really? Anyways, Vickie was furious and then played some voicemail messages where AJ pretty much confesses her feelings for John. When did Vickie start working for News International? AJ said that they were false but Vickie and Dolph were having none of it and Dolph asked AJ if she found the fact that John’s ignoring her more dissatisfying and disappointing than actually sleeping with him. With that, Cena came down and AJ held him back only to slap Ziggler herself with Cena throwing in a punch for good measure.

I don’t know where this is leading to but I’ll be glad when it’s over. Backstage AJ and Cena chatted and after Cena made a “it’s never gonna happen” comment, AJ made him revise it. Could there be a Cena/AJ romance on the cards?

The next match was William Regal v The Big Show. Regal was looking for revenge after Big Show stormed into a pub and beat down he and Sheamus. FYI, that place looked nothing like a pub. Big Show really took it to Regal and it was a real nothing-held-back fight. Whilst I miss Regal on my TV, I don’t want to see the old guy get hurt and, by the looks on his chest after the match, I think that’s a likely outcome if Regal had a more full-time role. Big Show got the win and went to cause more damage with a WMD but, luckily, Sheamus saved the day.

Kaitlyn vs Layla was our next match with the two buxom beauties going head-to-head for the #1 Contender Position at Survivor Series. I’m not going to rant about the state of the divas division but Kaitlyn and Layla are best friends and they’re fighting. No build up, no emotion and no connection. Kaitlyn picked up the win and she and Eve stared each other down afterwards.

Now, I’m about to get on my soapbox. I love WWE. I am never shocked and, as you can tell from this blog, nothing really bothers me. However, WWE’s decision to air real life footage of Jerry Lawler receiving CPR and defibrillation after suffering a heart attack was despicable. Now, a lot of people have defended it saying that Lawler OK’d it and such but even so, it was not appropriate. I’m not a person who thinks we should bring back Attitude Era and blood so I can’t be accused of being a hypocrite. But a man lay there, in the back of an ambulance, fighting for his life and WWE chose to send a camera man? I find that disrespectful. I like when WWE blurs reality and fiction, I think it keeps people on the edge but this was too much. Now, as an adult, it wasn’t too traumatising. I just felt it was inappropriate. But for a PG show?

Now, what I didn’t have a problem with is what happened next. Jerry Lawler came out and gave a big speech about surviving and it was truly emotional to see everyone on their feet. This then cued CM Punk to come out. What then unfolded was CM Punk and Heyman berating Lawler, saying that Punk caused his heart attack and then Heyman and Punk orchestrated a fake heart attack with Punk throwing up the ‘X’ and such. That didn’t bother me because Punk is a fictional character and it’s not the first time WWE have used Lawler’s personal life as part of the show.

Mick Foley then came to the ring to yell at Punk. The Foley/Punk feud now makes no real sense considering the fact that Punk is out of the Survivor Series gambit but I will be covering that in my Survivor Series Predictions later. Foley got real mad at Punk and said the world doesn’t revolve around him after Punk said everyone else was worthless. It was good stuff.

Backstage, a camera man was filming Brad Maddox’s ass for some YouTube show. I approve.

Then came the clusterfuck segment of the night with what could only be described as a Mid-Card Mash-Up. The next match was an 8… yes, 8, man tag match. It was Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio, Justin Gabriel & Tyson Kidd vs The Prime Time Players, Primo & Epico. The match wasn’t terrible but it wasn’t great nor was it good enough to be on Raw. Each man was trying to get a decent amount of time but it ended up being too many tags happening too quick. It was like an orgy in the dark. Bodies everywhere, people reaching out not sure who they’re going to touch next. Justin Gabriel picked up the win after a Rey Mysterio assist.

Backstage, The Miz jockeyed for a position in the WWE Raw Active vote for who would fill the remaining Team Foley position. Ziggler argued that Miz was a quitter and wasn’t fit for any team. Foley then challenged Ziggler to offer up two members of his team to face two members of his. Ziggler decided on Team Rhodes Scholars and Foley decided on Kane and the viewer’s choice. He then told Ziggler that “Amy Schumer says hi”. For those who don’t know, Amy Schumer is a fabulous comedian and former girlfriend of Ziggler’s. And, in her defence, she played along on Twitter after being challenged by Vickie Guerrero.

https://twitter.com/amyschumer/status/268203921800060928

For those who haven’t heard/seen any of Amy’s comedy, I recommend her album Cutting.

Then we had R Truth v Lord Tensai. I can’t even. Just. No. If you care, Truth won but the real loser here was the WWE Universe, am I right?

Then came the moment we were all waiting for and by “we” I mean, me and my penis. Brad Maddox’s in-ring debut. Maddox faced Ryback in order to win himself a $1 Million contract at WWE. So, would Maddox get to live his dream of being a superstar? Would weeks of discussion, scandal and promo work be the kick star to a fresh and bright career for Maddox? No. The answer is no because WWE sucks and there is no God. Ryback literally destroyed Maddox and bought the rogue ref’s storyline to a close with a thud. I have no idea why WWE chose to not give Maddox a contract, maybe he just wasn’t ready yet but what really was the point in Maddox’s involvement. In bringing back Vince McMahon? This reeks to me of creative going somewhere but it all changing last minute. But hey, who knows, Maddox could still turn up… but more on that in my Survivor Series predictions.

David Otunga v Sheamus was the next offering and Sheamus picked up an easy win. However, Big Show turned up on the titantron to ruin Sheamus’ celebrations. Now, Big Show had Regal and was threatening to punch him. So Sheamus, rather than running backstage, stood and watched. AFTER Show punched Regal, THEN Sheamus ran backstage. What… a bad friend.

A Josh Matthews updated announced that Regal had a concussion and a potential broken jaw.

Then came the Team Foley v Team Ziggler match. Of sorts. Team Rhodes Scholars went up against Kane and his partner… The Miz! But Kane had other problems on his mind as, before coming to the ring, Daniel Bryan expressed his unhappiness of his tag team boo sharing the ring with another man. Kane tried to shake it off but a jealous Bryan decided to follow Miz to the ring.

The tag match was pretty good and Miz played his face role well right off the bat. I don’t love it but I’m making do. After Miz capitalised using Bryan as a human shield, Kane hit the chokeslam for the win.

Then we had John Cena v CM Punk. It was a PPV worthy bout, as always and it’s a shame to see these two giving away this match on Raw but, hey, who am I to complain? Paul Heyman tried to interfere where possible but a cowardly Punk was thwarted by Ryback who sauntered down to the ring which allowed Cena to hit the AA for the win. Afterwards, all 3 men stared at the prize… the WWE Championship.

So, what might happen on Sunday? Look out for my predictions.

Until next time,

XO-TWB

You Maddox, Bro?

Hey all,

I’ve finally gotten to the root cause of why image quality ain’t so great so next week’s set should be clearer.

BUT… hey, a gallery is a gallery.

And with Brad “Beef Mode” Maddox’s beefy Buttox on show, well, it’s worth a look.

Enjoy.

XO-TWB

Time To Get Survivor Serious

This week’s Raw was coming from my home country of the UK and boy what a show! The Birmingham crowd were on fire, butts were bubblier than ever and I have to say, it’s been one of the strongest UK editions of the show I’ve seen in a while. But what went down? Read on, my loves!

Raw opened up with an angry Miz telling Paul Heyman that CM Punk is a coward. Heyman told Miz that he needed to get onboard along with the rest of the team. Miz, however, wasn’t having any of it and abruptly quit Team Punk.

The first match of the night was 6-man tag action with Rey Mysterio, Sin Cara and R Truth teaming up against The Prime Time Players and Antonio Cessaro. Admittedly, it was more of a 4 against 3 match because I’m pretty sure Rey’s stomach counts for a 4^th person. Those black latex shirts aren’t fooling anyone, Rey.

It was a so-so match with your usual fair which resulted in R Truth picking up the win.

Then it was time for Vickie Guerrero to have her say. For those who have been hiding in a hole (I know a few holes I wouldn’t mind hiding in), Vickie is currently the Raw Managing Supervisor which is WWE’s way of trying to get around the fact the GM role never stays filled for long. Vickie believes that AJ Lee and John Cena were having an affair whilst AJ was General Manager. Now, I don’t understand the issue here because both AJ and John are unmarried and they can do what and whoever they want. Vickie, however, had more footage.

Cena came to the ring to see exactly what the incriminating evidence was and this time it was juicier. It involved towels and sneaking around. It was like the entire segment was produced by Jerry Sandusky. Cena, however, maintained his plea of innocence saying that all the evidence was circumstantial. Vickie disagreed and wanted to hear AJ’s side of the story. AJ, however, wasn’t willing to come to the ring as she’d want to punch Vickie in the face and well, if she does that then she’s fired and said she wouldn’t be able to do what she loves to do. Dolph Ziggler then turned up and told AJ we all know what she loves to do. Ziggler is so Mean Girls. I love it. With that Cena darted out the ring and Vickie screeched with joy.

Backstage, Paul Heyman tried to convince Wade Barrett to join Team Punk at Survivor Series. Whilst initially hesitant, Barrett eventually agreed.

The next match was Daniel Bryan v Cody Rhodes. The match was actually pretty good but a distraction from Kane and Damien Sandow allowed Cody to pick up the win. Afterwards, Cody took to the mic to lisp his way through some gloating. He also said that his partner Damien Sandow could easily beat Kane and with that we had an impromptu Kane v Damien Sandow match!

Kane and Sandow really went at it but Bryan and Rhodes were proving to be distracting. After Cody ran into the ring to avoid a Daniel Bryan beatdown, the referee expelled both of them from ringside. This allowed Kane to hit Sandow with a chokeslam for the win.

It was then time for Brad Maddox to explain himself. I strongly believed he should’ve come out butt naked and shook that cute little tush and all would be forgiven. Alas, it wasn’t to be but Maddox’s ample glutes were well displayed in the trousers he was wearing. Anyway, back to the action as Maddox explained his reasons for interfering in the Punk v Ryback WWE Championship Match. Maddox said that he’d be in FCW for a long time and was told that he wouldn’t make it. He believes it’s because he’s not tall or fast enough. That he doesn’t fit in. It was your usual fodder but the guy looked totally cute the entire time so, take a look.

After the speech, Mr McMahon came out and offered Maddox a contract if he’s able to beat Ryback on next week’s Raw.

Once Maddox had left the ring, Mr McMahon bought out Vickie Guerrero. He said that it seemed odd to not have Punk defend his title at Survivor Series. After trying to get Dolph the gig, Vickie eventually gave in and announced Ryback as the opponent. But Mr McMahon didn’t want it to end there, he said it should be a triple threat match but who should the opponent be? Ah yes, John Cena. Vickie reluctantly agreed and the match was made. And that’s how WWE works folks. Other people make decisions and then Vince steps in and forces them to change their mind.

Sheamus took on The Miz in the next match and I was pleasantly surprised. First of all, The Big Show was on commentary and I have to say he was a delight. His anger at Michael Cole was brilliant. And the match? It was great! The Miz and Sheamus really pulled out the stops and it was a genuine nail biter. Also, Miz wore blue. Bitch looks good in blue.

Backstage, Dolph Ziggler was pacing outside Mr McMahon’s office. Vickie exited and had great news, now that Punk was no longer team captain, Dolph will take the helm. So it’ll now be Team Foley v Team Ziggler. CM Punk, however, was not best pleased and expressed his displeasure to Vickie. She then announced that Ziggler and Punk would team up to face Ryback and Cena!

Then it looked like we were getting a promo for a new diva as Sex & The City-esque music played and bright colours flashed. Turns out it’s for a new Superstar by the name of Fandangoo. Rumour has it Fandangoo will be Johnny Curtis’ new gimmick. However, it seems like WWE had a few spelling issues because on Smackdown, they dropped one of the ‘O’s. Homo they didn’t.

Now, usually when WWE does UK shows there’s some sort of UK segment. Someone drinking tea or someone dressed as The Queen. But no. None of that. The most British thing was Sheamus and William Regal backstage deciding to go for a pint. Tip of me ‘at for that guv’nor.

Diva action was up next as Layla and Kaitlyn teamed up against Eve and Aksana. I have to say that these women (let’s be honest, minus Aksana) are very good in the ring. Eve’s clearly sprucing up her moves and Layla’s new high-risk move set works like a dream. It even helped she and Kaitlyn pick up the win.

Backstage once more where Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez discussed the fact that ADR wasn’t team captain. Then he bumped into Rosa Mendes. The two seemed to have chemistry so watch out for a storyline there.

ADR’s opponent for the night would be Kofi Kingston. Kingston was seemingly set to lose as ADR put on a beat down. However, Randy Orton’s music hit and caused a distraction which allowed Kofi to roll ADR up for the win. After the match, ADR ran into an RKO by Orton. Orton’s face, however, seems to have been ran into by too much botox. His face is so puffed up. Maybe he had an allergic reaction to some fake tan. Or y’know. Pills again.

More tag action in the next match which was Primo and Epico Fail vs Zack Ryder and Santino. Not worth discussing really. Ryder and Santino won.

Wade Barrett then had a match against Brodus Clay. A weird pairing but they had to give Barrett a match since he was on home turf. The crowd were freakin’ electric as they watched Barrett pick up the inevitable win.

3 man band member Heath Slater then went up against one of the Usos. I can’t even. This three hour thing is really starting to not work out, you guys.

Then it was main event time and boy was it a doozy. Dolph and Punk really lay into Cena for the duration of the match and Dolph hitting elbow drop after elbow drop was particularly brutal. Ryback, meanwhile, was foaming at the mouth to be let into the match up. He soon got his way and cleared house and picked up the win.

Afterwards, he and Cena stared each other down.

I’m still not buying into Ryback as a character with longevity but good luck to the guy.

Until next time,

XO-TWB

People Power Outage

No Way Out was a fun affair and I actually quite liked the show. My predictions amounted to what they always do and I ended up getting nearly every single one wrong. I’m smart like that. So what exactly went down then?

The opening bout was surprisingly the World Heavyweight Championship Match. I smelt shenanigans with the fact it was up first and I racked my Red Bull infused brain to find an answer. I came up with nothing. I began to think that we were going to be hit with dejavu as, when the bell rang, Dolph pulled a Daniel Bryan and made Vickie kiss him. Sheamus went for the Brogue Kick but luckily this time the 18 second victory was not to happen.

It was a fantastic match and both men did a great job. It was clear that they put their best in and it made me sweat just watching them. Plus I’m also overweight. I chomped down on my Milkybar (not a euphemism) nervously as it seemed my future 3^rd husband (after Zac Efron and Cody Rhodes) was going to see gold. Sadly, it wasn’t to be and Sheamus picked up the win.

Soon, my love. Soon.

Backstage, J-Lau turned up wearing a suit that made him look like a cinema usher. I’ve no idea what he was thinking but I’m going to presume he wasn’t thinking at all. J-Lau was trying to convince Mr McMahon that he didn’t need to be at ringside for the match because of his concussion and everything. Vince wasn’t conVINCED (I know, sorry) and slammed the door in his face. Someone was grumpy but inappropriate emotional responses are a side effect to a concussion. Obviously, some people take that to the extreme. I’m looking at you, Benoit.

Scumbag Josh Matthews then waded in asking J-Lau about the pressure of perhaps getting fired. J-Lau then told Josh he was a failed wrestler and unfit to be an announcer. Bitch PLEASE.

The WWE “Universe” have been up in arms about how WWE is only about the kiddies and that joke matches are wrong. This is the same group of people who cheered for Colt Cabana when CM Punk gave him a shout out. To quote resident flag kicker Chris Jericho. YOU’RE ALL SYCOPHANTS AND HYPOCRITES. I am, indeed, talking about the Tuxedo Match which saw Santino Morella take on Ricardo Rodriguez.

It was what we expected and Santino picked up the win. I like the humour of it all and I genuinely LOL’d when Ricardo sauntered off in Del Rio undies.

Bacstage once more to Matt Striker who was interviewing CM Punk. Punk talked about how Bryan was a good technical wrestler but was interrupted by cray cray AJ. Did you know AJ was crazy? I know, right? It’s not like it’s been mentioned a gazillion times. AJ basically wished Punk luck but then Punk got all douchey and said luck was for losers. I actually think Punk is a bit of a dickhead really. There, I said it.

Cody Rhodes, who disappeared for a while, was up against Christian in our next match. Cody was hoping for a third reign in the same way I want to be in a three way with him and Dolph. The match was actually really good and the two really went at it. There was a move where Cody bent Christian’s arm back and the stood on his elbow which actually made me cringe. I’m such a “mark”, you guys.

However it seemed like I was a common curse as future husband #2 lost to Christian.

Then it was the turn of unknown tag teams to get in on the PPV action. It was to be a Four Way Tag Team Match to see who would be the #1 contender for the Tag Team Titles. It’s a nice change for them to decide the contenders this way as usually names are picked out from a hat. The match was really good and it wasn’t a clusterfuck as I expected. There was a great moment when Tyson Kidd hit the hurricarana off the top rope to the outside, knocking everyone down. And it was also fun to see Justin Gabriel’s cute little butt back in action.

The win eventually went to Titus O’Neil and Darren Young aka the Primetime Players. It turns out that Abraham Washington screwed over Primo and Epico Fail. Good stuff, nice to see the tag division getting a good story.

I’d like to pause this recap a minute to say something which annoyed me. For those who don’t know, The Primetime Players wear pink ring attire. This caused Booker T to say that he thought they were “a little fruityish if you know what I mean… a little sweet”. I’m not going to accept homophobia from some jumped up moron who can’t even string a sentence together. So, fuck you Booker T. Interestingly, he doesn’t make such comments about Dolph who not only wore pink but used to jiggle his arse for everyone.

Back to the recap, Triple H came to the ring to challenge Brock Lesnar to a match. And that was it. I was a little disappointed because Triple H was WAY off his game and rambled for a while about trying to find the balance between being corporate and a wrestler. I think it’s time WWE decided what they wanted him to be. If they want a corporate figure, then make him that. I think Trips would make a great GM. He’s my favourite ever wrestler but the lack of continuity in his character is starting to grate on me.

Backstage, AJ wished Daniel Bryan luck. What is that girl playing at?!

Divas action was up next as Beth Phoenix took on the champ, Layla. I have to say, this match KICKED BUTT! It was awesome. It was the right length, there were great moves. Even the announcers got behind it. Sadly, the crowd were dead but we’re going in the right direction. If they can pull this shit off more often, the Divas Division will soon be strengthened. Also, did anyone notice Layla just full on grab Beth’s boob when she went for the pin? Personal space, girl.

Backstage to AJ once more but this time she was talking to Kane. She went to wish him luck but ended up making out with him instead. Can I just say, I frickin’ LOVE these two. They’re like a Twilight type of relationship. Or even Monsters Inc if Boo was older and Sulley was nailing her.

For some reason we had Sin Cara v Hunico. Sin Cara won. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

Then it was the triple threat match. I don’t want to say too much except watch it. I was so apprehensive about Kane’s addition into this but with the AJ angle, it all worked great. AJ ran in towards the end, she was knocked off the apron, Kane was distracted and Punk picked up the win.

As Kane scooped AJ up and took her away, she smiled at Punk like it was her plan all along. LOVE IT.

After the great came the awful… Ryback was “fed” more. I’m so sick of this Will Sasso lookalike stinking up my WWE experience. GO AWAY.

Then we had the main event, the cage match. I was apprehensive about how boring this would be and at first it appeared I was right. There was only so much these two could do but this one was about the story. It seemed like Big Show was going to win but Brodus Clay ran down to the ring with a steel chair, blocking his exit. People were expecting a swerve where Brodus hit Cena instead but I didn’t think that. Soon a plethora of Big Show victims ran down to unsuccessfully stop The Big Show.

As Cena made his way out, J-Lau tried to knock him off with his crutch. It looked like Show was going to sneak out the door but Cena won!

J-Lau was fired.

My heart broke.

And so did the Spanish Announce Table.

There we ave it, that was No Way Out.

Until next time,

XO-WB